3:10 PM Saturday, August 16, 2003

As I was praying I wouldn't slip from the puddles and puddles of water, and that I wouldn't get sick from the really heavy rains, I took refuge at Gamol since I had no hope of reaching Congo Grille with the heavy downpour going on around me.

And then, I saw HIM.

The guy I was in love and waiting for... for two years. The one I decided to say goodbye to, last January. The one I officially lost, even as a friend, last March methinks.

I don't think he saw me. He's pretty blind even with his glasses on. I couldn't help it, I texted him about taking care. And either he's changed numbers or deleted me from his phonebook, the reply I got was... Who's this?

And far be it from me to contemplate yet again on what I lost and found in him... last night, I couldn't help myself from wondering... who's taking care of him...

And no, it's not because he's f*cking up his life... and no, he's not incapable naman... but I really loved him once and I know he has to have someone take care of him, worry for him, mother him...

*~*

Started shaking all over yesterday, a close, close girl friend of mine called asking me to not judge her... and needing to tell her story. Why the shakes? Uhm, surely the revelation that your friend has dragged herself deeper and deeper in an abusive relationship isn't good news. And I couldn't cry for her anymore eventhough she gets beaten up by her drug-dependent brother... and emotionally abused by a boyfriend who has also started hurting her in 'small' and physical ways.

I just kept telling myself... no, am not happy that the women I looked up to before are the ones who have failed in their relationships and have ceased to be the empowered females who loved life and knew how to live it.

And my friend wasn't crying for help... even when she called me and ranted about the boyfriend who's been degrading her and disrespecting everything that she can be...

She was just crying.

And I love that friend of mine. And it hurts me that there is nothing we can do but wait... and trust life...

And so, not only am I praying for her family worries to stop, and for her to realize there is no love in her relationship with this man... I'm also praying that whoever it is God meant for her can wait... and will wait...


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