We Had Him by Maya Angelou

We had him by Maya Angelou

Beloveds, now we know that we know nothing,
now that our bright and shining star can slip away from our fingertips
like a puff of summer wind.

Without notice, our dear love can escape our doting embrace.
Sing our songs among the stars and walk our dances
across the face of the moon.

In the instant that Michael is gone, we know nothing.
No clocks can tell time.
No oceans can rush our tides with the abrupt absence of our treasure.

Though we are many, each of us is achingly alone, piercingly alone.
Only when we confess our confusion can we remember
that he was a gift to us and we did have him.

He came to us from the creator, trailing creativity in abundance.

Despite the anguish, his life was sheathed in mother love,
family love, and survived and did more than that.

He thrived with passion and compassion, humor and style.
We had him whether we know who he was or did not know,
he was ours and we were his.

We had him, beautiful, delighting our eyes.
His hat, aslant over his brow, and took a pose on his toes for all of us.
And we laughed and stomped our feet for him.

We were enchanted with his passion because he held nothing.
He gave us all he had been given.

Today in Tokyo, beneath the Eiffel Tower, in Ghana's Black Star Square.
In Johannesburg and Pittsburgh, in Birmingham, Alabama,
and Birmingham, England
We are missing Michael.

But we do know we had him, and we are the world.

I have yet to watch the memorial... had hubs download the file (almost 2 gig).

Read more...

Return to Innocence

Well, I highly doubt i'll ever be innocent again. But still, I spent two days (Mon-Tues) attending a seminar on handling CICL cases (Children In Conflict with the Law). I also learned about R.A. 9344 (also known as Pangilinan Law because it was championed by Kiko Pangilinan, our country's response to UNICEF's challenge) and restorative justice which some believe is a better one than the retributory, punitive justice system we have, especially for kids.

It's been 3 years now since this law has been passed and its progress has been very slow. For one thing, it requires a major paradigm shift for all lawmakers and enforcers. It also requires additional budget for more youth homes, social workers, rehab centers, and information drive.

And then there's the fact that gangsters, syndicates, even parents have capitalized on this by getting children to do their dirty work for them as all kids 15 years and below are exempted from criminal liability (but not civil liability and rehab). 12-15 year old kids can brandish guns very well too, so they are being used in the wars being waged in Mindanao.

Going back to the paradigm shift required, this law acknowledges that all kids below 18, regardless of their crime, are also victims of their circumstance. Which is why intervention, diversion, rehab programs for them are important so they can still have a chance to become productive, contributing adults in future. Theoretically, it does seem like a sound argument, after all, kids who are jailed end up just becoming better, hardened criminals from learning from the pros. But practically, it can be a logistic nightmare to implement. After all, the resources required to follow and monitor a child's progress is immense. And he may not always have his parents or the community's support (heck, he may not have parents for that matter).

One thing I realized and have to get used to is that restorative justice doesn't aim to take away more from the victim and his family. It's just that it hopes jail will be a last resort rather than the first option. And offenders will be made to make amends somehow.

*~*

Filipinos actually have great laws! I just hope we're good at implementation however.

Read more...

Bye Little Sis

Racked with sobs, my sis said a very tearful goodbye to my sleeping son very early this morning. And I spent till 1 AM trying to burn pictures on a DVD for her to take (it didn't occur to me to just save the damned lot in a thumb drive and copy it in her laptop). I was too sleepy and sneezy to cry (plus, it looked like she was crying for hours already).

She told me THANK YOU for everything.

And she even went to our cousin's room to tell her goodbye too, to think that cousin didn't even have the grace to help her pack, join us for dinner last night, and get up to say goodbye to her. (And i'll stop now because this post is not about my menopausal cousin) But then again, my sister has always had the grace to forgive and not dwell on conflicts.

The plan is for her is to stay and work her a$$ off in the US for at least two years before going back to visit the country. A great thing that should help her miss the Philippines less is that her BF is leaving for the Middle East in August. At least she can console herself that both of them will be living in foreign shores. Hopefully, distance won't be a hindrance for their love to continue to grow. And I really hope she will be lucky and persevering enough to build a good life for herself abroad (amidst our crazy relatives).

I will miss her.

But I think this is really the final straw for me to also move on with my present life, along with my family. I've been tiede to this same neighborhood for years, now I can really leave it knowing that nothing else is worth staying here for. No more baby sister to watch over and guide and bond with.

Read more...

Tonsillectomy, Go or No Go?

I feasted on powdered milk and sugar yet again three nights ago. The following morning, I woke up to sore throat. The sugar must have irritated my tonsils. And unortunately for me, the sprayer of my Ilog Maria throat spray refuses to work.

And then I must have caught some flu bug because my tonsils just throbbed all the more, and I started feeling sick and sore all over. I also had minor cramping in the stomach. Anyway, I went to an ENT for antiiotic prescription because I was really feeling bad already (and twas painful to swallow anything). He commented on the fact that I just had tonsillitis last February and that I should consider a tonsillectomy already if it occurs anytime this year again.

The truth is, all ENTs have suggested the same to me for the past decade or so. It's not that i'd have tonsillitis all the time, but my tonsils ARE huge already (right now, it feels like i'm choking on them). But I am of course hesitant to go through a surgery, however minor, since it IS still surgery. There is no going back from it.

Plus, we've noticed that my Mom's voice changed and she seems to always be running out of saliva when she's talking after she had a tonsillectomy done. So my sister is understandably against it. But of course, am trying to weigh that against having to take antibiotics 1-2 times a year for the rest of my life just because my tonsils reacted to something I ingested (because there was a time that I wouldn't even drink iced tea because my throat gets irritated readily).

Of course, one can always argue that those doctors are also just hoping to make more money from me. And since the procedure is sure to be covered by our health card, they're apt to suggest it more.

Then again, I also wonder if our health card will still cover everything if I ask for a different kind of anesthesia to be used (because i'm scared of general anesthesia and has nothing but wonderful memories of tramadol).

Read more...

The End of Freaky

And maybe, with the death of Michael Jackson, he will start being inspiring again.

Because he WAS inspiring. Back when MTV was still fairly young, I lived fos his MTVs. My fave of all time is REMEMBER THE TIME and it was only today that I realized that it was Eddie Murphy who played pharaoh there. I thought WILL YOU BE THERE? was such a sad, lonely, desperate song but I responded to its feeling. I even defended and rationalized the white skin before... but then he just started being really freaky and creepy and sad.

Do I believe he really exploited those kids? Yes. But not as badly as what the news said. I mean, it's pretty obvious he's disturbed, and for his problems to take on a sexual manifestation is certainly not suprising. But I also think he's fragile enough not to have been able to handle abusing so many kids at the same time (as what was reported before). But anyway, that's that and now, there is still his musical legacy.

So to honor an artist I admired, I made my son sit through Thriller, Remember the Time, Black or White and Man in The Mirror.

My top MJ songs are Man in the Mirror, Gone Too Soon and One Day In Your Life. My heart also responds to She's Out of My Life and Ben, of course.

*~*

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

So sad that MJ seems to have never gotten the peace he was looking for. But I hope he's had many a happy times.

And the first one I thought of when I heard he died was Elizabeth Taylor... his staunch supporter and great friend.

Read more...

Facebook Weird Moment

Well okay, it's not exactly weird. But since I cannot think of a better term, weird is what am using.

I believe around 19 years ago, when I was in Grade 6, my friends and I caught a batchmate and a girl (from a batch higher) kissing in one of the empty corridors of our building. We did the upstanding (and probably geeky) thing to do, we reported it to a teacher. The next afternoon, the girl, with her gang, ganged up on me to threaten and intimidate me. Of course I was scared they'd like beat me up or something, but I wasn't cowed enough not to answer "Because what you were doing was wrong!" when asked why I reported them to the teacher. I believe comments like how envious I was that nobody's kissing me were thrown at me that time. But they let me get home without a scratch (and I was pretty popular with the teachers then, being President of the Junior Mentors Club) and I did't get flack from them anymore.

Four years after, I became chummy with their lookout... because she became my seatmate. She's also the girl's cousin.

And now, I see a Facebook friendship request from that girl. And it's not like am holding a grudge or anything, but she was one of the bullies of my time. I mean, they gang up on girls who had the same bag as they did (remember when plastic, transparent backpacks were in vogue?) and they also tormented the next girl their ex will hook up with.

It's just so strange to have such ugly memories of someone!

Read more...

Newport City Blogger Event

For the unaware, Newport City is the one being built by Global Alliance near Fort Bonifacio. It will feature Vegas-type hotels (one of which will be Maxims Hotel), entertainment offerings, other commercial centers and of course, high-end residences.

Anyway, they recently invited bloggers to help spread buzz. They treated us to dinner, gave us an orientation and tour, and also taught us to play casino games (because Casino will feature greatly in their development plans).

Some of the movers and shakers of the professional blogging world were there. Hehe.

Anyway, I'm not really a fan of high-end, exclusive anything that only caters to the rich and famous. But from what I heard, i think they're also planning to have zoos and other stuff that middle income families may be able to afford. Still, they are creating jobs for the Filipinos. And they are using mostly Philippine-made products which means more income opportunties for our countrymen.

And just maybe, in the next five years or so, Star Cruises clients can board here directly instead of going to some other Asian country. It's about time we really put the country in the tourism map, maybe then our government will be forced to really deal with our security issues.

But of course, I hope progress will not mean a bad compromise at our end (like more garbage or prostitution, etc).

Read more...

Freaks of Nature

These pictures are taken at the Tagaytay marketplace. And yes, it is pineapple season once again!

Read more...

The Comfort Wipe

I know it's a cultural thing. In the same way that foreigners might be aghast at the idea that we Asians (or us Filipinos becuase I really don't know about other Asians) clean our a-holes and precious parts using our hands and a dipper of water, we Asians are horrified that they don't wash theirs and just use tissue to clean up. Either way, I guess we're still icky. But i'd still prefer to wash with my hands and then just wash my hands after.

Sorry, even if I alone may see it, brown stains on underwear are gross. And it invites bacteria, does it not?

Anyway, so imagine how amused I was to see this ad:

The only time I was really unable to stretch my arm to properly wash was when I was preggy. But how unreachable can an a-hole be? And how many times does one go to warrant starining one's back anyway? I mean, I go to the loo every two hours at least to pee and wash every time, and my back and arms don't have a problem with that!

The easy grip thingies are a better product, but they're only freebies when you get this one.

Read more...

Boobs Are Bigger On Another's Chest

In one of the conversations I shared with my sisters-in-law, I was amused to realize that at that one and only time we went to a spa together, back when I was actually thin, they noticed my boobs and thought that mine were big.

I was amused because I also noticed their boobs then and I remember thinking that theirs were big (even my younger SIL's, who was thin) which means my future daughters had a fighting chance of not being flat-chested.

Laughable to realize now that we've spent so many times together already, going about sans bras, that none of us really had big boobs. My thin SIL, though not flat chested, actually has less boobs than I did when I was as thin.

So yes, we women notice each other's boob sizes. I don't think our issues are greater than that of men when it comes to size, but yeah, we still check out other women's assets. And we naturally perceive other boobs as bigger when we see them while the womanis bent over, drying her hair or about to put on her undies. Hehe.

*~*

Superficially though, I really thank God that gravity notwithstanding, mine are still perky. I mean, I breastfeed, after all.

Read more...