MEComposing

I have much to learn.

And much to realize.

*~*

I went home last Wed night, with really aching feet...

Seems, climbing 8 flights of stairs then standing for 3 hours... isn't my feet's idea of fun...

But I was told I had this warm and happy glow, and this wonderful twinkle in my eye...

My sister can't wait to hear stories of my lessons... and how my students are. She was surprised to learn though that I still had to write on a BLACKBOARD.

I was surprised to know that even kids in elementary now use WHITEBOARDS during classes, and that their rooms are air-conditioned.

And yes, I was chagrined to know that out of a class of 33, not one owned a computer at home.

Then again, I did say these kids need someone like me because they're already underprivileged as it is...

Now, if only I can finalize that syllabus...

*~*

I'm having bad PMS cravings... I crave carbohydrates... like i've never eaten rice before. I crave nuts and marshmallows... and Mrs. Fields' Rocky Mountain Mogul fills me to satisfaction... but it's P49/pc and I have to be eating at least 2 everyday... and it's getting to be expensive...

I've even started wanting an oven so I can bake my own brownies/fudgies... one with a lot of walnuts and melted mallows...

And am trying to find justifications to buy a Rocky Road cake...

I'm also craving milk... and white chocolate... and the WC I bought at the Bodega Sale yesterday was actually too sweet and had hazel nuts... but I managed to consume half of the block, before I practiced some delayed self-control and kept the other half for tonight...

I'm also craving tuna and oyster sashimi... and seafood... I want to feast on shrimps and crabs and fresh oysters... I want their seafood juices oozing down my hands as I devoured a whole feast of them served fresh, or in sweet-chili sauce...

It's sooo bad, all I can think of is food... and where to get them. Arrggh.... my cravings are killing me...

*~*

I tasted this wonderful corn and potato soup in Sagada and found it really wonderful. I tried to cook it at home and it was an instant hit.

Basically, you sautee onions and GRATED potatoes (use the big-holed graters, you wouldn't want it to be as fine as grated cheese, but this is way better than diced potatoes, i swear) on butter. When they're half-cooked, you just pour in evap milk, corn kernels (if from a can, use the water they were in too), add more water, season with some pepper and salt to taste, simmer... and there you go..

It's creamy, it's healthy, it's filling. And it's best when piping hot... I swear.

1. an 8 megapixel but handy digica, preferably, a canon one...
2. a canon 3ccd digital camcorder
3. a PC upgrade at home, and a photoshop software installed in it, and a hunky tutor to help me learn it
4. unlimited massages/home service by Gloria
5. new clothes, new shoes, more lipsticks
6. a weekend getaway with ____
7. a week's stay in Boracay
8. a week's stay in Florida
9. a trip to Belgium and Switzerland with a sponsored shopping spree of all their choc shops
9. a week's stay in Coron
10. a Donsol trip to watch whales
11. to finally use my handcuffs, and get it videotaped
12. more sex toys
13. a whole slew of new camping/backpacking gear
14. get laid at least 3 times a week
15. get laid for a straight 12 hours each time
16. a new camera phone
17. new funky jewelries in white and rose gold
18. a pamamanhikan
19. around $77 million
20. a condo of my own, and a crv or x-trail (not that i know how to drive or whatever) of my own
21. for my cousin not to name her daughter Maurisha
22. for my family to be healthily complete and present on my wedding, whenever thazt will be, and no matter what happens
23. a lifetime supply of rocky mountain mogul
24. to be ten pounds lighter esply arnd my waist
25. lots of new undies/lingerie/naughty get up

I will be kind enough to forego RANTING on how un-professional some members of the Academe can be...

And just say THANK YOU to all those who knew and rooted for me...

I just know I will be good in it... not that I won't commit mistake/boo-boos and not that I won't learn as I go along... the merry-unhappy way of imparting knowledge and a sense of inspiration to actually live...

Esply since, as if I could be doing it for the extra money... I mean, what money?

I start tonight...

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The weirdest thing... early Monday morning, I was having a bad dream.

In the dream, my friend (Fuz) and I together with another guy got off this cab, only the cab was black in the dream, and without the usual markings of a taxi cab. My friend managed to get his hand caught in the door... and the cab was fast running away. The other guy with us kept on running and knocking on the driver's door, signalling that my friend was trapped. I was just standing there, watching him getting dragged. But the driver refused to stop somehow...

Finally, the cabbie stopped and went out. My friend was able to set himself free and they of course, were too angry to manage self-control. They went after the driver, and the driver tried to get away. I then snatched the keys and the cab's engine died down.

It was a bad dream because the scene where my friend was being dragged kept replaying... and since he's so dear to me, I couldn't help but be horrified.

Then I woke up. And I wondered what time it was. And then I heard someone miscalling me from my cell. And after a minute or two, my alarm set for 4:00 AM woke the rest of my roommates up.

I checked my cell... and the one who was calling was the one I was dreaming of. Seems he was asleep and then woke up. And then he just decided to make paramdam.

Weird.

Wonder if this was a super delayed reaction of my unconscious to the fact that I saw an FX hit a little boy last Friday... and a van hit a dog last Saturday. Still, it was too much of a coincidence... it was creepy.

*~*

Something that can only happen to me...

I found out I only had some P170 left in my wallet while we were at Baguio. Guess I binged on choco flakes and pomelo-buying, I lost track of my wallet's contents. I tried withdrawing money, only to have P2,000 debited from my account.

Of course I was maddeningly upset... I still had to buy dinner and i'd need money for taxi fare from Pasay-Edsa. I bought some food from Jollibee... only to hit a WET PAINT sign on SM Baguio's lawn. I came crashing down on the grass, and down on my food. I even managed to destroy the sign, and get several bruises on my legs and feet... enough for me to find myself limping until today. My left foot also swelled some.

To think I managed to come back from my Sagada Trip safe and bruise-free.

I found myself dining on a cheesedog sandwich instead... while silent tears threatened to bring me to a breakdown. I mean... at that last hour in Baguio, I managed to trip several times and feel oh-so-poor... haaayyy... it was crazy!

I even had to swallow my pride and take up JRA's offer to fetch me. Fetch me he did... with matching hot water bottles for my foot... and hot soup and siopao for my stomach.

He urged me to borrow money earlier from my mountaineer friends... but am one arrogant, full-of-pride b!tch, he also knew I wouldn't. And he spent more than an hour worrying over how hungry I possibly was...

He's sweet... I know... am tickled pink!

*~*

Pyro refuses to play with anything else except Jack jack, this wind-up toy from McDo Happy Meals... and it's supposed to be MINE. Sigh... my baby is fast growing up... soon, i'd be competing for white chocolates with him, I just know it.

Please pray for Prana Escalante, who was missing for over two weeks and then found dead early this morning by Mangyan natives. My other sentiments on the matter can be read here.

*~*

Please also try to watch Magpakailanman tonight... the episode will tackle my elementary/high school friend Anton's life story.

He used to say he had a crush on my hair back in Grade 6, when I wore it curly (who knew that fast forward to 3 more years, he'd have a crush on my JS prom date?). He was also the one who sang the Lord's Prayer in that Mass after we won the EDSA Revolution. :)

*~*

I am uninspired to really post... aside from going crazy balancing my finances (we already got our Christmas bonuses), I find that I still don't have enough to pay all my bills (insurance plans mostly), loans (from that trip I took last June) and buy myself a brand new cellphone. Sigh.

I'm all kinds of horny though, so it must mean I'm happy despite feeling the economic crunch on my pockets.

I'm all kinds of excited too... for tomorrow, I go to Sagada with friends. Please pray for a safe journey, and good weather. Please also leave your e-mail addies in the comment box if you want to view the pictures i'd be taking. Ahehehe... But of course, i'd document that trip in my camping blog. I'm just excited because the weather there is soooo nippy... and because i'd get to see Sumaguing Cave sans the Holy Week crowd... and because I have a better digicam now than the first time I went there. And yes, I know, am babbling...

Life is good... and yes, I do need cash.

*~*

Malls are teeming with shoppers already, and I hate crowds. I can only tolerate crowds in concerts... and maybe, rallies.

perhaps borne from a need to not dwell on our friend's loss, and help cheer her up... or just an inherent inability to be sad and sober (my friend actually relished all the times we made her laugh last night, and told us she knows her husband was with us, and enjoying the freaky sh!t we keep coming up with) for the whole time we're together in one place...

my widowed friend asked our White Bird-owner friend to come up with a price list for the men in our gang...

you can just imagine the wealth of info and the tons of laughter her professional and objective assessment we got/had...

other general things i can share with you:
1) guys who have tummies and have lotsa body/facial hair can still sell well... as long as they're mestizo
2) moreno guys would have to dance on stage, to attract more clients. and really moreno guys would have to bare all just to attract clients (it seems GROs, matronas and gay clients favor mestizos); one other thing, these guys are the ones who roam the area, and these guys are the ones who get handbags hung from their... err.. uhmm.. poles (nyahaha... i can't exactly blush, sigh)
3) the young and good-looking ones need not dance on stage anymore, and their drinks are more expensive, because their market value is high...
4) the really good-looking ones who are young get to wear the ala-Mulawin White Bird costume
5) a guy can earn up to Php30k, working only for some 15 nights, just dancing and drinking/flirting/making small talk with clients in the bar (please note, they are GROs and not pros)
6) female GROs from neighboring bars go to White Bird to spend the money they get from clients

My guy pal, aware of the going rate for pros and GROs retaliated with his own estimates for us girls...

Here's mine... ahehehe

deli - the prima dona in bed. likes to be pampered, served and serves it up as well. wants it rough, but usually slow and easy with lots of panting and huge energy expenditure. marathoners and triathletes most defintely welcome.

exotic dancer (but available for take out after her set to lessen her energy level) - 1,500.00 an hour minimum 6 hour engagement - hourly rate is low because of high minimum time booking.

LABEEEETTTTTTTTT!!!!!

I've discovered two blogs. One was of a former friend... the one who didn't think to confront me with why she suddenly cut me off from her life and allowed me to explain, defend or apologize.

And the other one is of a former love/lover/friend. The one I tried waiting for to come around for like two years before I decided to just let him be.

And they're both doing well... Honestly, I actually worried about them. But they're both doing well and seem happy... and I think I can finally let go of the remaining vestiges of concern for them. Of course, i'd forever want only the good things for them because in my heart of hearts, i'd forever love them both for all the times we were friends. It's just nice not to fret about them anymore... :)

*~*

Friends... please say a prayer for a man named Clancy who joined our Maker last night. There was not enough time to really know him, but it's enough that he loved my friend and embraced her family.

I cannot imagine how trying this must be for my friend, and I cannot help but wonder how she can take time out to thank her friends for all the prayers and moral support we offered for them... I cannot imagine the pain she's in right now... and so, please also say a silent prayer for her... that she may find peace and continue to love.

(there are no words to also say how this has been badly affecting me, what issues it has raised for me... in me... but the long and short of it all remains to be... that life is short, and time is all we have to give to those we love)

I didn't get to take a decent picture of the DUYAN (hammock) in my Dad's house...one he bought in Bicol for only P150 that's made from abaca...

But lulling Pyro to sleep there for 3 days, and swinging it for my sister and nephew... and just lying there every chance I get (while eating Snickers, Milky Way, Musketeers and White Chocolates... and ice cream... and champorado... and ginataang saging... and goto... or just drinking milk or chocolate...) brought back sweet memories of childhood... where a similar hammock would be found in my Lola's porch... or where younger cousins would be sleeping while I helped watch over them...

It was pure bliss :)

Anyway, we indeed found ourselves going to San Juan, Batangas for a quick swim. My Dad came along with my cousins and me because he's never been there before. And amazed he was at how clean and deserted the beach was... he kept singing while he was swimming. He also kept telling me that apart from us, he loved the sea the most. After all, he was a seaman for around 20 years, and he vows to forever appreciate how the sea has been kind to us.

He tried teaching Bonita to swim... again, a delightful thing for me to watch because I feel am watching him play father to me when I was younger. It's like being put in a time warp where generations and faces and time overlap... and all that's left is this warm, fuzzy feeling of happiness and contentment... and this awareness that love is in the air. Yeah, mushy me...

Mom, who decided to stay at home because she's superstitious and didn't want the whole family to be together in the same car, surprised us by cooking spaghetti. We bought ice cream as a treat for the kids and spent the rest of the afternoon prying fighting kids from each other, wiping mouths and noses and praying they'd learn to share the hammock... ASAP.

My cousin Jim and I were born 2 weeks apart... and had so many pictures taken together as we grew up. We're usually both crying in said pictures because he's just pinched me, and because I just poked his ribs. Anyway, not that I scanned any of our pics... but... Bryant and Bonita (Jim's eldest) are also always after each other's throats, born several months apart, but also share the same passion for ice cream.



We went to the cemetery Sunday afternoon and Monday morning... each time forgetting to bring enough candles for all our dead. The thing with a barrio cemetery is, your ancestors are all buried there, most of them wizened, wrinkled faces from your childhood that actually used to scare you... They're planning to have my lolo's niche tiled so that we won't have to have it painted each year... and the roof cemented.


Dad drove us to the cemetery in our car... and Mom was so nervous she was gripping the seat. She said, warmth only returned to her feet after we've returned safely home.

And while they whiled away Sunday night belching out oldies, I took a pic of my tired, happy self in my Lipa bed... for obviously, being the designated photographer meant that I would be missing in the pictures...



Pyro took a bath (finally) again last Sunday... basically because my Mom (finally) allowed it. Here, he is playing with his Nemo... but we're really trying to wean him away from stuffed toys since sucking on their noses and ears and tails keep resulting to a throat infection for him... Glad that he's fully recovered from his rashes too, and has learned a new set of tricks and stuff over the weeekend. It was also great seeing him line up with the kids to be fed spaghetti... it's official, competition for food and attention will make a child eat, if nothing else.

Can't wait to dress him up for Christmas...