9:26 AM Thursday, July 29, 2004
(part of an e-mail I just sent
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
a simple line no... but it's kinda hard to do when you're racked with pain at nights...
when you want to make the pain tangible...
when a part of you wants to believe that you deserve such agony, for why else would you be driven to your knees?
I remember before, when love for myself was threatened by how my relationships were, I couldn't think of anything better to do than pray for death... couldn't think of anything better to be than dead... as opposed to a living dead who lacked purpose...
I'm just glad there were people who really loved me, people who supported me because they know who I really am, and that being pathetic and lost was just a phase...
they were gentle to me... and now, in times when i feel lost or invisible or just plain confused and overwhelmed, I hearken to the truth that I am loved and I am capable of loving...
it's easier to forgive myself for being human, nowadays...
*~*
Jumbo Jap at Rob Place rocks... I was treated to tuna sashimi and fresh oysters... the oysters scrubbed so clean (I missed its salty essence) and served on a plate with ice (so that I found it hard to relish them in my mouth because they're too cold).
Still, I felt like a pampered baby last night... nothing beats a good meal indeed!
Life is good... ahihi
