infidelity

8:51 AM Friday, April 13, 2007

Yesterday, I was chatting with a guy friend. He told me he's finally able to slowly move on, and that he and gf have broken up.

His news gave me such sadness... especially since I found out that the girl was unfaithful (many times, actually). But I wasn't exactly sorry for him because he was betrayed. I felt sad because... he used to be married once to this really beautiful woman, and already had three kids with her.

But he had to be unfaithful... leaving his wife fed up. She divorced him and took the kids with her to the US. His parents and siblings also sort of disowned him for breaking up his family.

Worse, he chose a woman who played mistress for a while to some big-time CEO... and kept forgiving the girl for still continuing with her relationship with a Malaysian boyfriend. But the girl left him for some other guy (hmm, the Citibank exec?).

He's still very mad with the girl... and wishes karmic retribution to come swift after the girl's a$$. I dared not say the joke's on him. But I do wish him well, after all, he's still my friend.

And I hope he CAN be happy again... considering what he lost.

*~*

I tell the story to some other guy friend... and he comments "Serves him right for being caught, and not knowing how to appease the wife so she wouldn't leave."

It's actually laughable, the nerve of him to think that... and not think that the guy shouldn't have been cheating in the first place. Needless to say, he also cheats on his wife. The wife knows, but given that she's a housewife with five kids, she hasn't the courage to leave him.

Which is to say that not even a U.P. degree gives everyone an edge.

*~*

Several months ago, we had an infidelity scare involving my Dad.

It turned out to be a false alarm... but my sister got so upset, and asked me several times to confront the girl. Not just confront pala, but to actually engage in hair-pulling action with the girl.

I confronted the girl (via phone) and my Dad. And I scolded my Dad for even letting himself be placed in a situation where he will be rumored to be philandering, and betraying our Mom.

I explained to my sister... that even if it were true, that our Dad found a mistress, I still wouldn't be picking a fight with the girl. But I sure as hell will be picking a fight with my Dad. A woman can only be excused for having an affair with a married man (or a taken man) if she didn't know the man was taken... and if she breaks it off upon learning the truth. But even if she actively knew and had the affair anyway, it's still our Dad who has to answer to us.

Because he was the one involved in the family, and betraying the family. I cannot expect another woman to care about us, and she isn't bound by any law or contract to do so. But our Dad made a commitment to our Mom, and supposedly loving us, he should be the first to know how much our hearts will break. And if he does betray us, he should be the one punished.

But society is always harder on the girl... mostly because men are still thought to be 'polygamous by nature'.

Look at the Kris Aquino - James Yap - Hope triangle. People bashed Kris (well, I always bash her) and Hope (home wrecker!) but they took pity on James... poor star basketball player who has a wife who won't let him play with friends and hang out. Sus. They're all at fault.

*~*

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