MEComposing

There are a few certain things in life.

One of them is that we will always be our parents' child... no matter how old we, or they, get.

This explains why parents in their 50s or 60s will brave migration abroad and work menial jobs to send money to their sons and daughters... who already have sons and daughters of their own.

One other thing is that... between the age of seven and seventy, we cease to be a child. We grow up. We become. We self-realize. We master a craft and our independence. We strike on our own. We build families of our own.

In a way, it's a vicious cycle that we cannot escape, and one we can always count on.

But what happens when you stop being a child... and realize that not only are your parents fallible, one or both of them are actually not so good?

What do you do when you're of age and suddenly realize that:

- Your father is having an affair
- Your brother is your MOM"S child by another man
- You're adopted
- One of your siblings is adopted
- Your Dad just threw away all your properties in a foolish investment
- Your Dad is beating your mother up
- Your Dad molests children
- Your Dad is gay
- Your parents are into illegal stuff, like drugs or white slavery, or money laundering
- One of your parents is addicted to gambling, drinking, etc.

Do you thank heavens for a childhood filled with innocence... or does it invalidate your childhood?

Two sides of the same coin.

And do you just stand back and let your parents continue with what they're doing... because they're the adults, or at least, they're the parents? Will respect for them be measured by not meddling into their affairs... affairs which, because you're part of their family, will always affect you one way or another?

Or do you get yourself involved? And how?

I've seen wonderful adults break down because of the burden of paying off their parents' debts from too much gambling. I've seen estrangement. I've seen detachment. I've even seen families stay together without much love and respect for the perpetrator of the pain or betrayal.

As a child, do you do nothing? How do you reverse the role and direct your parents to the right path? What do you say to them? Where do you draw the line? How do you prevent yourself from getting forever scarred (and embittered) by the pain?

And how... how do you become a good parent if you feel that you're failing them as a child?