MEComposing

Last Wednesday, I had to rush to the side of my friend... who needed someone to talk to.

She's just left her husband. She's 'known' for years that her husband was cheating on her... she's found small proofs in his pockets, she's heard too many stories and excuses that don't ring true... but she stayed in the marriage because she wanted to protect her children.

Everything for her five kids... until it was her own daughter who saw the pictures and video of the father's philandering.

In a way, she could finally breathe... because she need not protect her children anymore from the truth that has killed all the love she ever had for the man she married, and all the self-respect she ever had for herself.

But it's always very shattering for a mother to see her children in pain.

And then, it's more shattering to have your own sisters tell you not to be hasty in your decisions.

What's worse, it's more shattering to have none of your children offer you a comforting word... to have none of them condemn their father for what he did.

That's one of the burdens of being a woman... even fellow women won't always support you when your heart gets broken by a man and you decide that enough is enough. And your children will always somehow expect you to be the one that holds the family together, regardless of the cost to you... as a person.

I told my friend that she has always been a good wife, though not faultless... and a great mother, though not perfect. But I remind her that before she was a wife and mother, she was a woman first... a human being with rights and limitations... and a daughter second... a child who owes the parents that raised her well to exact the treatment she deserves from everyone else.

I know she's a strong woman and would survive this. But oh, the scars... the trials ahead... the pain... the tears of her youngest son whenever he thinks he's become a victim of a broken family.

All because her husband believes in some sort of entitlement to being allowed to do whatever he wants... like bedding all these girls who work in clubs... just because he's provided well for his family materially.

He never even apologized when confronted... he never made any attempts to save the family... the most he did was tell the younger kids not to let the separation affect them because it's his and their mother's fault.

So, of course, my heart goes out to my friend. I cried with her. I cried for all the other mothers whose homes, whose lives, whose dreams, whose children were broken because they made the mistake of marrying an a$$hole.

I also told my friend that am sure her children are not being selfish with the way they're handling things... but as children, it's natural that their first instinct would be denial... self-preservation.

Nobody leaves a broken home unscathed... untouched... unmarked anyway.

But am sure those who will want it badly enough will learn from the experience and turn the pain into something useful... something beautiful... and they'd all live and love again with innocence and hope.

So here's to another broken home... may there be less of them.

And here's to another broken woman... may the world converge to help her heal.