MEComposing

Still sick!!!

Just when I thought, I was going to be OK... I had another allergic rhinitis attack... which lasted for at least 3 days...

And just when I thought there's relief, finally, in sight... my throat started feeling sore again.

Even no-drowse antihistamines make me feel drugged...

Ergo, I haven't really enjoyed Christmas food :(

*~*

I hope everyone else is having a merry time...

*~*

Let's all pray for those affected by the earthquake that hit South Asia.

*~*

This much I know... if you buy Quail Eggs from the Bus station in Buendia, and started eating them right at the beginning of Star Tollway in Sto. Tomas (Calabarzon), you'd just have enough time to pop the last egg in your mouth when you get to the Lipa Exit of the tollway... that's 6 eggs all in all, methinks :D

I'm too sick, actually...

But not too sick to disappoint my Office and fail to show up for the talent ekek contest... And dance as a Christmas Gift Box onstage. My heroic act was rewarded, and we bagged the 2nd prize.

And I had a great time, yes... :)

*~*

At last, FPJ is buried...

*~*

But my friend John's father isn't... yet... having only died this morning... May I just share a poem shared/offered for him by our friend Laura, originally posted in MTC...

Deep peace on the running wave to you
Deep peace on the flowing air to you
Deep peace on the quiet earth to you
Deep peace of the shining stars to you
Deep peace of the gentle night to you
Moon and stars pour their healing light on you
Deep peace to you
- traditional Gaelic blessing

May nobody else lose a loved one this Christmas season... and may everyone find something to feel grateful for...

*~*

And if it's not too much, please pray my allergic rhinitis cease tormenting me. I'm just so tired of being sick... I'm also real weary of feeling drugged...

... found me sick.

Actually, I wasn't dying, that much I know... but I suspected throat and sinus infection, and true enough, I was proven correct...

by this really cool doctor I found holding office in one of those medical buildings in front of PGH (I don't want to rant anymore about our company's sh!tty health card and how some doctors do not even have the decency to call their office to say WHAT TIME they're actually coming to work, IF ever they really still intend to...)

SO... anyway, he's an ENT who's also a cosmetic surgeon. And he's gay. And he's my first ever gay doctor and he was soooo cool. I just assumed of course that he's gay, despite his muscled 6 feet plus frame... because he was wearing his hair up to his shoulders, and he talks and moves like one. We didn't exactly discuss his sexual orientation.

He was dressed casually, and he invited me to an office with these high, funky, yellow chairs and asked me to sit down. One wall was filled with the usual diplomas and certificates of training, one wall was filled with sketches and black and white tasteful pictures of nude women, and another wall was filled with picture frames (in solid red, blue, green and yellow colors) with photos of him with friends and families in various trips. His walls were painted green and blue. I commented on how nice his office was, particularly the wall with the multitude of pictures from ceiling to floor... and he said he was the one who painted his office.

Aside from his clinic not being typical... he fully explained to my addled brain what I have to do, and why. He also drew pictures of my nose, ears, and throat to point out to me which parts were swollen/infected, which were a-ok, and also gave me a card and encouraged me to text him if what he prescribed wasn't working. He encouraged questions, he assured me I didn't have polyps, etc.

The catch, he charged me Php500. But still, it's seldom that you actually like going to a doctor and you leave him feeling psychologically/emotionally better because he actually made you smile and feel good.

Oh, I have sinusitis, tonsillitis, pharyngitis concomittant with my allergic rhinitis (?). And of course, I was mostly sleeping all weekend.

*~*

I haven't blogged about him really for a loooong time now... Anyway, suffice it to say that he's fast growing up and wreaking more and more havoc in the house, and onto himself. His knees are often scabbed... mainly because he kept on picking on his wounds. He keeps on tripping and falling and bumping everywhere.

But some things haven't changed... we still gather around him a lot, and clap at his accomplishments. He can now say "Ninang", much to my sister's delight. Of course, he also calls his Ninong, Ninang. Same way that he doesn't call any guy Tito, and calls the rest of us Tita. Same way that he calls my Mom, Lola... but cannot call my Dad Lolo. He even calls everyone Mommy, even his Dad. Yes, this boy is being raised by WOMEN.. but he's a boy through and through...

He still likes raiding our closets, and making a mess in our room. He still doesn't really love milk, and doesn't like anything chocolate. He still doesn't know how to properly crawl, even though he already runs very fast. He still insists upon our UNdivided attention... and we're all still quick to come to him whenever we hear him whimper in his sleep. Sigh...


Ang Batang Naglalandi sa Ilalim ng Kulambo

*~*

I was fit enough to go to Mass at least yesterday, and I decided to bring the little tyke with me and JRA. My sister had to come along too, in case Pyro decides to like... need a diaper change.

He loved the fountain at Paco Park. And he discovered that if he babbles a syllable loud enough, he can enjoy an echo inside the Church. I suspect, he just made us SIN by bringing him along, for we couldn't really concentrate on the Mass... what with my sister or JRA having to run outside with him when he's getting TOO DELIGHTED with his echo... and having him keep going back inside the Church once he's outside. He's one-and-a-half... we can't exactly shush him... or prevent him from smiling up at other ladies who would, in turn, find him irresistible.

Heck, even a girl his age started cooing at him happily... and surprisingly enough, that made him quiet.

This is him with his super loving Ninang... later on, he managed to trip two people at Rob Place... none of us got to enjoy our Jollibee dinners (he could identify Jollibee already, mumbling JABI and slapping the statue everytime he can).

Needless to say, he made me vow to bring him along again... when he's already 5 or so. I sometimes wish he'd be the type to just play under tables while we eat our meals... but then again, that wouldn't be PYRO.

*~*

kitakits na lang sa Pinoybloggers' Christmas Party at Cabalen, SM Mega Mall, Dec 30, 7 pm onwards...

Finally, finally, finally...

I've managed to buy everyone in the family (Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro, 2 cousins and 1 maid) a gift, except for Pyro. But JRA (his Ninong) has already bought Pyro this yellow bath robe, and i already bought him 3 sets of pangbahay, and he's literally been taking over all house space so I do not feel guilty that I haven't bought him new toys or what-nots.

I also bought cups for all nieces and nephews closest to me... plastic/melaware (?) ones which can stand the wear and tear kids usually bring upon everything. And of course, I bought them cutie shirts and dresses. Ela asked her Mom for new clothes for her Christmas Party at school, and so her Mom asked me (she and the man who fathered the baby she's carrying right now are both jobless, and my cousin was his typical NR self, though I heard his wife bought Ela new shoes).

I also went to another DIVI trip last Sunday. I was advised that the cheapest toys could be found at the Divisoria Mall... just off Tabora (where you buy souvenir items for debuts, christenings and weddings). I managed to get pretty picture frames for P20 each... already had them wrapped as token gifts for my colleagues (they were already making parinig that if I make cheesecake, they'd really love to be getting one each... because that's what i've done for two years now, with cathedral windows... what can i say, they love my desserts!).

I don't know why, maybe because it's because of the insurance plans and the new phone I intend to buy... but I've never felt soooo poor during Christmas. Thank heavens talaga for DIVI.

I also bought glow sticks (P70 per tube, 50 glow sticks all in all, with connectors in case kids want to wear them as bracelets) and more bubbles (this time, I bought the simple dip-and-blow ones, P25 for 12 bottles). I didn't really buy much but it's just so nice marvelling at how cheap things are over there.

Now, all I need are candies for the goodie bags... my sis and cousins have been pestering me about grocery shopping for the candies so they can pack them already... Oh, maybe tonight...

*~*

Our Christmas tree (a new one) is already laden with lots of balls and bells and flowers and ribbons, all of which, Pyro keeps trying to pull off. He insists on Christmas lights being turned on... even in the middle of the day... and would happily watch the blinking lights while saying over and over.. "WOW!"

Gifts are also already wrapped and nestled under the tree... and now, we're mostly concerned with what to cook for Noche Buena and Christmas Day.

Ate Gang says she'd just cook chicken nuggets instead of the usual fried chicken, esply since i've already managed to find and buy cumin. We'd probably cook carbonara instead of spaghetti.

My sis and I insist that Mom makes hot cocoa and sotanghon soup for Noche Buena, since that's basically what we only eat during those times. My bro eats half of the Christmas ham... so basically, those things are must-haves. Mom has asked me to buy Hershey's chocolate. Hmmpf... I wonder why I gave her gift checks when i'm still the one grocery shopping.

And then, Mom springs a wish on me... that she was kinda hoping we'd just have seafood for Noche Buena... cooked the sweet-spicy way like what we ate at Seaside. She asked me how much crabs and prawns cooked that way would cost... And so now, I gave her till the weekend to decide if she really wants that so we can order (and so I can find money...). Hayy, goodness... and of course, i'd want to give her that for Christmas!!!

*~*

An internet/mountaineer friend's Dad needed blood. 16 bags of blood. Our friends have already gone to Medical City to donate, and I was hoping I could the same this weekend.

I already told them of the uncanny way of events conspiring to never give me the chance to give blood. They said, I should just go to Red Cross, where they'd get blood from me and give me a card, which I can hand over to whoever needs one.

I said, i'd keep that in mind. And I guess, i'd do that in around 6 months time.

Because I friggin' need to take antibiotics again for really infected sinuses and throat.

I hate life...

*~*

For the Pinoys who know of that TIDE (?) commercial wherein a boy says he always gets chosen (to recite, to perform, to solve problems on the board) because of his really clean shirt...

Everytime that commercial is aired...

Pyro would say... "Aka, aka"

Our neighbor Andy would say... "Ato, ato"

Cute!

*~*

What happened to my Christmas Wish List? Nothing yet... howell...

Am poor, am stressed, i'd be broke, i'm sick, i'm sleepy (work hours is now 7 am - 4 pm)... but i'm so looking forward to Christmas!!!

Patay na ANG PANDAY... and the following comments were the things that struck me the most:

1) Naku, for sure, traffic na naman pag libing nyan!
2) Grabe, if he were elected President, magkano kaya ang Piso natin ngayon? Baka P100 na sa biglang kawalan ng confidence from investors.
3) Buti na lang, GMA won... kundi, presidente na si Noli. I-hand daw ba ang presidency sa kanya that easily... (i cringe at the thought)
4) Kawawa naman si Dolphy, malamang depressed na naman... kasi meron na naman umiwan sa kanya...

And the last one... was the one with killer implications (pun intended)

THE GREAT ACTORS ARE ALL A-DYING... and leaving really pathetic ones in showbizness...

Not that Lorna Tolentino, Christopher de Leon, Tomy Abuel and the like aren't good...

But I sometimes cannot help but feel sad indeed...

My fave is CHIQUITO still, and how scared I used to be, watching the Mang Kepweng movies... seeing Piling growing on whoever's back... finding Mang Kepweng funny and fatherly as he chanted to drive away Piling...

The memories are actually hazy... but the feeling his movies gave me are still there. He was an actor I respected...

And then, there's NIDA BLANCA, taken away so violently... She was absolutely goosepimple-inspiring in that movie with Maricel Soriano and JP... up to now, I cannot watch that movie without literally feeling bad for hours... she was that affective as an actress...

And of course, there's IKE LOZADA, who I still remember in the old Dyesebel movie wearing two tails instead of one... that were attached together in the middle...

And PANCHITO, Dolphy's sidekick...

And BABALU, Dolphy's second sidekick... Both men made names in comedy, but both could rend your heart to pieces in drama too...

CHARITO SOLIS... could any face be more beautiful? She's one of those who, despite gaining lots of weight, didn't lose the solid form of her face, that wonderful arch of her brow... those thin lips that could both be mataray or sweet...

And there are really very many more of them who have passed away, retired, or are ridden with sickness, with their death clock ticking away...

It's only really a matter of time for them... for PAQUITO DIAZ and DELY ATAY-ATAYAN...

For GLORIA ROMERO, the original Labanos Beauty, for me, and her elegance

For SUSAN ROCES, who was recently widowed...

And EDDIE GARCIA... the epitome of macho

And of course, DOLPHY, the King of Comedy, who is still singing and dancing at the grand old age of 75+...

He... who gets crippled, not really by old age eating away at his bones... but of the coldness time brings, when old friends and loved ones can no longer warm your heart...

Not that new loves mean nothing, of course...

"You shouldn't have worn shorts."

I was 13 and very much grew up in Manila. I even talk with a slight slang. My Dad got it in his head to show me the ways of Lipa. And because I developed a crush on two of my cousins' friends that March (who knew they were brothers...), April 9 found me tagging after my cousin and some of his friends to the fiesta in Bulaklakan... a barrio near ours.

The year was 1991. Net sprays were still in vogue. Loose Maui shirts and shorts were the things to wear.

And because I was adolescent-pretentious and naive... I was decked in a white shirt with blue sharks on a neon background. Who knew my stupid cousin and his friends would go to the fiesta via the looban, a virtual tangle of trees and roots and trails... a jungle really... but they said, a short cut too.

So, there I was... counting cuts and insect bites... and there he was, the Noel guy, being his corny, noisy self.

And yet, he was making me smile.

*~*

May 1991. Partners for the pagsasaya (basically, the procession where ladies wore gowns, and men wore barongs... as we end the Feast of Flores de Mayo) were being called off, everyone being asked if we already had anything to wear, etc.

Noel kidded the Kapitana... was she calling those who were destined to be married?

I was surprised. He likes Marilyn?

I was more surprised to know I felt a tinge of jealousy. Then again, I was already in a relationship with my first bf then.

*~*

January 1993. Noel took me dancing to a slow song. I teased him about Marilyn getting jealous. He said, she won't be, after all... we're only friends.

*~*

January 1994. Noel whispered to me that he couldn't take me dancing anymore, for his gf, Marilyn, would be breathing down his neck. I assured him I that understood.

*~*

January 1997. Noel's birthday. Noel turned out to be the barkada of my barkada's sister. I've introduced him to my peer group. He invited us to his party.

Allee and I were teasing him incessantly to open our gift to him. He finally gave in, and pretended to grumble about the gift: black briefs with yellow polka dots.

It was too small for him (who knew someone so thin wouldn't fit inside a sized-small pair of briefs) but we had so much laughing at his expense. And he was good-natured enough not to really mind.

We were good friends. And we had fun.

Who knew Marilyn picked a fight with him after we left... about how I was trying to lord it over her that I had a gift for Noel, while she didn't.

Two months after that, they broke up. Marilyn started spreading the rumor that I caused it.

But Noel and I were really just friends, who are brought together by vacations in Lipa.

*~*

March 1997. I went with Noel and his closest friends to spend overnight at the beach. In the morning, I happily beckoned to him to share what was then good news for me: i've already agreed to go to steady with his best friend, Michael. (i know, he wasn't included in the list... he was more of a fling and there are other reasons why)

He suddenly grew pale... and couldn't talk. I was so bubbling with my kalandian, and he excused himself and went out of my room.

Later he told he was shocked. He knew Michael and I were being teased... but he didn't imagine us turning it to something serious.

Much later, he started courting my friend Allee. It was a half-hearted attempt at most.

Around May, Michael and I broke up. And he started getting teased to Marilyn's cousin. And Marilyn and Michelle banded together with other girls and totally made my vacations in Lipa... unhappy.

I asked Noel if Michael was in any way real in love with Michelle. Noel said he doubted it, but Michelle was very persistent. He also told me, he sort of had a tiff with Michael then, because he was asking him to honor his previous relationship with me... and not make it appear to the grand barkada (composing of all adolescents in the barrio, half of whom are vacationers too) that he only used or played with me.

And then, much later... Noel told me he actually cried that day... when I told him I went steady with Michael.

Asked why... he told me that he already really liked me the first time he met me. But he had to step aside because, all too quickly, I was going steady with Zaldy then, his 2nd cousin. And when finally, he was able to break it off with Marilyn (Marilyn had a weak heart, and like every insecure person out there, used that fact to keep Noel in line, knowing how kind he is), he'd suddenly have to step aside again for his best friend.

I don't remember anymore how he told me that... or how we ended that talk.

*~*

2000. Noel called me up to say he's getting married a certain date and asked me to come home to Lipa. I was happy for him because I knew the girl was good to him. But still, I kidded him... "But I thought you loved me, pano na ako nyan?" I was also stupid enough to tease him not to marry that girl and just marry me instead.

There was a pregnant pause and then he said... "Mec, wag, please."

I laughed, asking him if I said anything wrong...

Then he basically told me... asked me... not to make things harder for him. I knew he was struggling with something... but then, he just pleaded some more for me to attend his wedding, and to not make it harder for him.

Turned out, they were expecting their first child already. I told him I was envious because he's going to be a parent now... I also told him I might not be able to go because I had masteral classes that Saturday...

*~*

Day of his wedding... morning... an unregistered number appears in my cell... it was Marilyn, asking me to come home to Lipa and stop Noel from marrying that other woman.

Not only was I flabbergasted that Marilyn, who made life so hard for me, would be making me her ally right now. I just told her, maybe she can talk to Noel... tell him she still really loves him.

Marilyn texted me then that only I can stop Noel from marrying someone else... and that if I don't do that, Noel won't be happy.

All day, she pleaded with me. And at the hour of his wedding, Marilyn told me she's crying and feels that her heart was breaking.

Me... I wondered... what should have I really done?

*~*

Now, Noel is working overseas... and I heard, he cries everytime he cannot go home to his family, and misses them so much. His son is already chasing frogs and running around... and I see them every Noche Buena Mass at the barrio chapel.

I'm happy that he loves his family. And I miss him.

*~*

I don't really know why he suddenly came to mind... I can't even say that he was someone who got away... heck, i don't think I even have a someone who got away. Still, the memories of all the years we hanged out... and the fact that there was something unexplored between us... cannot help but make me smile and feel sad at the same time.

I know, there's a letter somewhere in the boxes under my bed where it was explicitly stated that HE LOVES ME. He loveD me.

I'm not sure if I ever acknowledged the same in me, for him.

And now, because it's really pointless to contemplate... and because we were such good friends that romantic notions as I knew them couldn't exactly fit what we had (then, i couldn't imagine kissing him, but i know i wouldn't mind walking under the rain, wrapped in his arms... i couldn't imagine going on formal dates with him, but know that i can spend days and months with him and have a great time... and yes, now I know better), I cannot even say there are regrets.

He is a great person and a good friend. And back then, who knew that he was also a great possibility.

Was tired and hungry and riding in a jeepney last night...

The guy sitting beside me called my attention because during a traffic lull, he had the temerity to buy dalandan soda in a 7-11 store... so the jeep had to wait for him to get back on, which irritated me because we were already being delayed overmuch by traffic... how dare he further delay us!!!

And so, I was cursing the day he was born when I happened to notice that he just typed the word F*CK in his cell, backlight really illuminating the word...

My curiosity was piqued... I read the entire message he typed...

Wouldn't you know, he was going to make me smile pala...

His message read...

DAMN IS SO TRAFFIC IN HERE

*~*

I've been haunting malls... and bazaars.. I've even gotten my ass over to Market, Market (it's a glorified tiangge type for those scared of Divi... but i love the stalls at the foodcourt selling products from different regions. I mean, the Batangas Booth was selling SINAING NA TULINGAN... arrgghh... how can I not drool? And Number 62 stall at the Gift Market inside the mall sells white chocolate for P6/pc) and the tiangge at Dampa, Libis...

But still, my Christmas shopping isn't done!!!

Arrrggh... How can I go home with just 2 or 3 packages after hours of walking about? And I have yet to buy clothes that fit me... am so tired of sweating in fitting rooms, trying to get inside a dress or a pair of pants... (lolz, the way I talk, you'd think I was Dabiana-like... haaay...)...

Heaven help me, I know I am still all kinds of sexy, but I really wish i'd LOOK it, not just FEEL and THINK it... hmmppff!!!

*~*

I offer a moment of thanks and celebration... for Mama Mary's Immaculate Conception...

And a moment of silence and remembrance... and somehow, grief... for the anniversary of John Lennon's death...