10:44 AM Wednesday, April 28, 2004


I am slated to read the FIRST READING for my friend Libet's wedding.

The First Reading is taken from the Book of Sirach.

The husband of a good wife is a fortunate man; he will live twice as long because of her. A fine wife is a joy to her husband, and he can live out his years in peace. A good wife is among the precious blessings given to those who fear the Lord. Whether such men are rich or poor, they will be happy and look cheerful.

A gracious wife is her husband's delight; her abilities make him a stronger man. A silent wife is a gift from the Lord. A modest wife has endless charm; it is a quality too precious to measure. The beauty of a good wife in her well-kept home is like the noonday sun shining in the Lord's sky.

The Word of the Lord.

Hmm... i went on to check the SECOND READING

The Second Reading is taken from the Book of the Ephesians.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the Church - for we are members of His body. "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery - but I am talking about Christ and the Church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I'm wondering now if all readings for the wedding mass have to be these two... and am rethinking a Church Wedding yet again.

I am deeply offended. The first reading talked on and on about how a good wife is a blessing to his husband, which is only true if the husband is good himself. An irresponsible, unfaithful brute, no matter how good a wife he may have, will stay that way and forever be a cause of pain and misery to his significant others, and the society in general. And where is the passage that silently demands that a husband be a good husband to his wife so she will also be blessed with joy and good inspiration?

The second reading was equally bad. Christ didn't give himself up on the Cross to make women holy, and to cleanse women... Christ gave himself
up to prove His love for all mankind... and to atone for all sins that were committed and those that will still be committed. If there was cleansing, it wasn't for women alone. I don't care if there were specific instructions for men to love their wives as they love themselves... put like that, it just seemed like an afterthought at being FAIR.

And no, this is not because i've just finished Dan Brown's DA VINCI CODE (a great novel with its fast-paced plot, its factual description of artworks, its rough summary of spiritual history, its attempt at providing a single motivation for all the crap women suffered from for centuries). I've always bristled with annoyance from what I hear priests say during wedding ceremonies... but now that a really close friend is getting married, i've gotten a closer look and I didn't like it some more.

I have always questioned a God and a Church and a belief and a state and a constitution that does not protect and respect its women, when these same people are the ones who give birth and ensure the preservation of the human race because of that inherent capacity.

And I know I'd refuse to have a marriage blessed with words that will not be fair to me, or exacting of my spouse.


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