9:07 AM Wednesday, February 04, 2004


She really didn't want to invite friends over for a party at home. But we insisted. Half of her college friends decided to choose Star Struck over going to see her on her 18th birthday. Others went home to provinces. But two of them, living in Antipolo at that, managed to come. And then there was her high school friends. And family, of course. And of course, she cried... a lot. She was disappointed, and am sure, felt very vulnerable. We had to pack all the food and send them with everybody who came...

I let her closest cousin Tin and her high school friends comfort her in my stead. But it was awful... watching her slowly fall apart... and then seeing her also get comforted.

Told her she has much to be thankful for... at least she has pictures to show for yesterday. I didn't have any. And that her cake, although GOLDILOCKS PACO didn't deliver what was agreed upon (if we weren't pressed for time, we'd return it and give Goldilock's hell) was still real nice. And that it's times like that when one gets to realize who really cares about her. And now, she knows...

Anyway, my sister is now 18. Ripe for the plucking. A first year college student in FEU. Going steady with someone I haven't met. Always moody. Always patient and devoted to our nephew. Always borrowing my clothes. Always painting her nails. But always, in all ways, my baby.



Fought with my Dad. The PMS-y me was already goading him to have me pack my bags and leave home... banished... estranged... and then he hugs me and starts telling me, when I was just a day old, he got really upset because a mosquito bit me... and how, after that, he couldn't rest easy and sleep at nights because he has to be watching over me.

Sigh. From where I'm sitting right now, I still hate my parents. And because i've always been closer with my Dad, I guess I hate him more too. But this much i'll say, I have heard so many times of just how loved I was by my Dad and how happy he was with my coming. And it hurts so bad right now that, as much as I know his love for me hasn't changed, we have to be hurting each other now as we continue to teach each other life's lessons... such as letting go, growing up, forgiveness.


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