MEComposing

Those who have a healthy sense of LOVE, what it is and what it’s not, are the ones who get the happy endings. This is not to say that they never get hurt or betrayed. But it’s not a cycle/pattern with them. They learn from their mistakes. They always polish their standards. And they approach life with the knowledge that however much they love, they will be loving people who may choose to hurt, betray or stop loving them. They enter relationships with awareness of the truth that the object of their affection can change.

I cannot believe I wrote that to a friend back in 20 September 2000. How could I have been so lucid...

*~*

Hearing sad songs sometimes cannot help but elicit this great big sigh...

sigh of relief... that am past them now... all those growing up pains and heartbreaks, the trial-and-error thing of finding a partner, the great stupidities of my life, the big-time errors in judgment...

sigh of resignation... that all has been said and done, and what could have been is past, and what was will always be part of who i am today...

And yes, weirdly enough, I do miss having a broken heart sometimes... from those pain-wracked sobbing of my teenager years... to the desperation and surrender of true adult choices...

Not miss them as in wanting the same depths of uncertanties and insecurities...

But miss them for making me feel alive (even though I had prayed to die at several points in my life...).

Yes, pain, like laughter... makes you feel alive.

*~*

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