Lost Again

12:40 AM Thursday, March 25, 2010

My Comfort Zone
By Author Unknown

I used to have a comfort zone
where I knew I wouldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork
were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you're in a comfort zone,
afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile;
success is there for you!

Before I thought it was the change from working to not, and then getting deluged with the many challenges of parenting and finding value in that.

I started another masteral degree when I wasn't ready so I dropped it. Turned out, I just wasn't passionate about it.

Because when I am passionate about something, I do bend backwards for it.

I found FSL. And I renewed my involvement in other worthwhile causes, in other things I really feel strongly about.

Now, I am contributing to sites, writing about topics that interest me. I even sometimes write for magazines as well.

And I have been attending more blogger events.

And yet I still feel caged. Lost. Useless.

I still feel like am only going through the motions... that something else should be happening and I am in this alternate reality where I don't belong.

I feel something bigger is out there calling me, needing me, right for me... but I don't know how to get to it because I can't really say what it is.

I hate feeling that I am just existing. That i'm still not feeling productive despite all these things I am doing.

I am really lost again. I need a higher purpose. I am neither really happy nor content about myself. I feel I should be doing something more... something else.


Okay, maybe this is PMS talking.


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