MEComposing

Last February, I attended an HIV/AIDS forum at Starbucks with two gay friends, one of whom was HIV-positive. Basically, we just giggled the time away talking about sex, other gays, gay practices, crushes (theirs) and the possibility that other people we know may be gay.

But when I got back home, it hit me. I could easily have been one of those who got HIV from just one night of passion, or carelessness. I was lucky, I was involved in an NGO teaching about reproductive health for many years. So I was always careful. Plus, I was mostly in a relationship all my life. I never really did the singles scene. And casual sex, f*ck buddy systems, organized orgies, swinging, etc.... all those didn't really take off till I was already in my 20s. Who knows how things could have been different if I had access to casual sex already at age 15, like kids now? Who knows how things could have been different if internet (and with it, chat rooms, social networking sites, cam to cam eks) was already booming when I was just a rebellious teen with raging hormones?

I might not have chosen wisely.

And all it takes for HIV to spread sexually is one moment of trust and carelessness. Wives and girlfriends certainly trust their partners to be clean. Men generally assume that a lovely girl is clean, or they get too confident of their immunity. Having HIV happens only to sex workers and gays is the popular opinion after all?

But what happens when there are actually a lot of men, with gfs and wives, who actually dabble in same-sex trysts?

And what happens when more and more marriages are long distance relationships, with either the wife or husband taking on a f*ck buddy to fulfill sexual needs?

What happens when it's common for guys to pay girls for sex? Sex workers don't just work in clubs anymore, they're even studying really serious subjects in UP. A lot are in college, a lot have good lives and are well-provided for. But somewhere along the way, these girls have confused women empowerment with a lack of dignity. Some cases are sadder, because it's just having more spending money for stuff like a new LV bag and Chloe jeans rather than having to provide food for a family.

And any sexually active person can get HIV from just one night of forgetting to use a condom. One can even be unlucky and have a condom break.

How will a young adult, in his productive years, fare then? Where will he work? How will his parents accept this? Will he ever have a chance to build a home and family of his own? Will he be forever ostracized while also fighting for his immune system to always work?

And even the most promiscuous of them all... don't they deserve a second chance to contribute good to society?

*~*

My friend Eric's photo was posted in a blog and he was outed as a person with AIDS. He is a person with HIV. But more than that, he is a PERSON with dignity, with people who love him, with feelings that can be hurt.

Cyber bullying people like him, who have changed for the better because of their condition, who are actually doing more good NOW than they did before, is not helping this country move forward.

Shame to those who just want to exploit people like him. Shame to them.

And yes, I don't know how the fight started. I just know that it's still wrong to out people like him. Not when we have such a long way to go in actually helping people like him and possibly saving our kids in the future.