What Children May Become

11:59 PM Tuesday, March 16, 2010

It is my parents' wedding anniversary today. They celebrate 33 years of togetherness, a union fraught with its own unique trials and very personal rewards. It makes me smile when I think about all those times when I was young, watching them fight, praying that they just break up. My goal was limited to no fights at home... am glad they persevered however, even if they're both growing harder to have around. And am glad not because my family is intact, but because I am realizing just how much it requires for a marriage to work.

And that a 'working marriage' is relative. Overall, however, I feel my parents are happier and more fulfilled because they decided to stick it out with each other.


In a counseling case earlier, I was reminded of how it literally tears a parent up when, despite all their best intentions and careful upbringing, a child will grow up choosing something destructive. It can be a life of crime, a life of hedonistic pleasure, destructive relationships or chemical abuse.

I posted in my FB that I "hope that if the time comes that my son will choose something I totally disagree with, that I'd have the grace to accept that it's not because of my parenting; the courage to let him live his own life and learn from his mistakes; and the wisdom to know when to let go..."


Through the years I have hurt my parents a lot. I can't even imagine having a child like me. But they are still there for me, and I have learned to be there for them. I'm happy that our relationship didn't end with me making them feel unimportant, their love invalidated, all their sacrifice wasted. I hope, despite the turbulent adolescence, I am now making them feel rewarded for as parents.


  1. Happy anniversary to your parents, sis! :)


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