Hey You...

5:25 PM Saturday, April 10, 2010

... the person. How are you?

I just thought you might be getting overwhelmed by your pregnancy and all its implications that you might be forgetting who you are again, the person. Then again, you've really involved yourself so much in mothering, I don't think people can separate you from the Mom in you anymore.

And I guess that's okay too.

But really, how are you?

Well, for what it's worth... I sometimes catch myself resentful of the hormones, eventhough I would probably go mental if they stop wreaking havoc in my body. I know I should be thankful that even though I feel sick, I am not really sick as opposed to being sick.

And yeah, I guess there is that sadness over the many things i'd set aside again, all in the glory of motherhood and family. It's not just the earning and socializing opportunities, but the journey to another aspect of ME just really has to be shelved for now.

Definitely no trips abroad in the next two years... unless we're migrating, which is very unlikely.

And maybe no nice things again (not that I don't have a lot of good things).

But maybe this is the opportunity to be more that I was waiting for.

I am thankful, definitely. My parents are still alive and fairly healthy, and I have a great relationship with my sister, and a working one with my brother. My marriage is ok to great (depending on my moods), my child is healthy and happy, my purchasing power is available, even if limited.

I am worried about the coming elections. I don't want half the population migrating from hopelessness with the leadership situation and I certainly don't want more crime resulting from poverty.

And I am somehow convinced that Ondoy will happen again. It's the ants eating my cheese floss in the ref that tells me there is dire need there.

Oh... I miss reading. I have two Readers Digests I haven't read yet. That's crazily unacceptable for me!


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