MEComposing

I just realized that just when I am planning to become more actively involved and volunteer for a support group for childhood cancer, I get pregnant. Honest!

First, there was that time after Py just died. Mr. Perez of Project Brave Kids just found my blog, and his son Seve was also still undergoing chemo treatments then and he wanted for us to touch base. But Py has already died nga. I looked up their site and thought to myself, i'd just go help cheer the other sick kids at PCMC up.

But I found myself pregnant and that idea was shelved. Not only was it a difficult pregnancy, I also didn't want to be going to hospitals and expose myself to opportunistic viruses.

And then last March, I was assigned to write about two cancer foundations. I was surprised that Cancer Warriors Foundation is actually just in Paco. And they have been around for ten years already. We could have really used the emotional support then. They hold weekly support meetings somewhere in Ermita/Malate and I was like: This is it, another chance to reach out to children with cancer and their families. I can't give them money I don't have, but I can give them my time.

Then I found out I'm pregnant again. I'd still love to volunteer as story teller/teacher but I can't now. I am still scared of the possible viruses, given that sick children seem to be a magnet for them.

I wonder what Life is trying to tell me... I am pretty sure it's not that I shouldn't help them. Could it be though that Life is reminding me about how the circle of life continues? That though I have lost a precious nephew to cancer, I am being blessed with healthy kids now?

Or does Life mean that I am not ready yet?

Truth be told, I doubt I will ever have the stomach for barfs and the smell of disease. But maybe emotionally, I am not really at that level where I can really give just yet?

Sigh.

*~*

I was at a storytelling workshop yesterday and realized that I want to be a good one. I don't want to make a business out of it, but I really want to be reading and telling stories to kids... like the underprivileged ones in sad areas, and sick children, and maybe kids in rural areas.

Well, it was partly why I took up FSL classes. But now, I really, really, really see myself as Lola Basyang. I want to have nieces and nephews clamoring to hear me tell a story.

So maybe, I should really have become a preschool teacher? Hahaha.

Well, I will be a homeschooling Mom anyway.