humbled...

11:06 AM Thursday, October 06, 2005

Yesterday ended with my brother and I missing work, and my sister missing school. The talk with Pyro's pedia proved devastating and I can't help but thank the heavens that Py was asleep and didn't see us break down and cry.

It's just all the frutration and fear and worry and concern and pity for someone so young to find himself in such a situation.

And again, I find myself wondering how his pedia could have missed this, when Py's breath sounds differ so for each lung. There's also this basic flicking thing you can do on a kid's back to check for any congestion. A clear lung has a totally distinct sound (more hollow, echoing one). But we're past finding someone to blame. At least my hipag will finally allow us to get another pediatrician for Py once all these has passed.

But the worst is yet to come... for him, for all of us. 2 hospitals and 4 days into this crisis, we know that life will be harder and sadder once Py undergoes all the treatments necessary for him to recover his health.

And because there was some miscommunication, our transfer from Metropolitan Hospital to PCMC yesterday was anything but smooth. (six hours at the ER!)

And in the midst of the emotional and physical exhaustion, I appeal to the attending nurse at the ER for a doctor, because Pyro seemed feverish.

She sternly called my attention to the fact that one child just had cardiac arrest and was being revived by the doctors... and so many other babies were either lying in beds/cots or taking comfort in their mother's arms... also unattended.

Most of them also with fever.

And I had to silence a petulant "But I love Pyro!" voice in my head... and managed to feel sufficinetly chastised and slightly ashamed.

For in the great scheme of things, Pyro's health (life) is no more or less important than the other babies'. And most of the babies there were actually just infants, some premature and awaiting their chance to an incubator or at the ICU... and most came from really poor families where getting an X-ray is something one can only do when they have disposable funds... where parents wait with their young just to be nebulized...

While we have our own nebulizer at home.

Metropolitan said they're not equipped to deal with what's wrong with Pyro... so they directed us to Philippine Children's Medical Center (PCMC) where the experts are.

And because we're PAY Patients, we were led to an anteroom where one can actually sit... and where a child is allowed more than the ONE allowable companion.

And we bridged the length of the ER thankful that we're still blessed, and depressed with the disparity in attention and care.

God blessed us furthermore by allowing me to secure the one last room available in the hospital...

And so, though it breaks my heart to see Pyro sick... I am also reminded that so many others are also sick.

This isn't personal.

I just wish MORE can be given and done for them all.

*~*

Trying times are ahead of us... I can't imagine right now any light, happy post forthcoming.

Though life isn't without JOY... where there is LOVE, there is always JOY.

Still, I want to thank all those who still visit... and i'd understand if others stop because it's depressing in here... and I thank those who offer prayers for strangers like me.

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