MEComposing

The thing that had my a$$ all excited and giddy since last week happened last Friday... attendance to a bondage lecture :)

the venue: The Living Room
Located in one of the obscure-looking buildings just past Aristocrat (Malate), 1991 North Syquia, the Living Room is very reminiscent of Old Manila... and of Spanish times...

Wide, big windows... wooden floors... lots of space... heavy doors... minimal furnitures. Actually, the place had a lot of chairs, wooden chairs and sofas that are huge and immensely comfy. Some walls had special lights mounted on them to better showcase art and stuff (at that time, a black leather outfit). I love, love the place! Of course, opening the windows meant the Philippine/City humidity will annoy you some more... but eventhough the lecture was at 9 PM, it felt like a sunny afternoon in the province, around the 1600s.

I know... as if I was already born then!

the attendees
The first words that came to mind were: black (their outfits), cono (people conversing in English), expats (lots of foreigners) and uh-oh (tequila greeted us at the door). I think about 2/3 of the attendees there were connected somehow through the amiga system... friends or people who move in the same elite or eccentric circles. The rest of us, bloggers who happened on Carlos' blog, were all sitting quietly in one area of the room... so quietly, you could hear a pin drop where we were.

But of course, everybody was just nice and friendly.

the refreshments
There was actually beer served too, along with the Tequila. Both SML and SMB. Plus, there were nuts in pretty crystals scattered about... they ordered pizza later too. And one sweet lady went around asking people to sample Swiss chocolates she brought with her.

the movie
A Wife to be Sacrificed - a Japanese BDSM movie (heck, I don't even know what the proper term for them is) was being shown while we waited for everybody to arrive. It absolutely made me cringe in my seat... the husband kept his wife tied up Shibari-style, rendering her completely at his mercy. Of course, the movie depicted a relationship that wasn't exactly consensual as the wife was being held hostage... and you couldn't help but pity the wife who had to endure stuff like having a huge, huge candle inserted inside her (think Unity candles... *ouch*)... being hung from a tree... having to move bowels while her husband was watching... etc.

the lecturer - Domina Jane
It was a very nice surprise when we realized that the girl who greeted us and asked for our payment of P450 at the door was the same girl who strutted in front of us, in the darkened room, in a red leather corset and stilletos.

She came off as strong, scary, intimidating, funny, seductive, honest. Her booming voice filled the room, her presence was palpable. She's now based in the US and you cannot help but either trust her, or give in to her demands. She admits to being a dominant ever since.

dominance
As she explained, it is the ability to get what you want when you want it and the way you want it. It's not exactly intimidating people, but getting them to respect you and give in to whatever floats your boat (provided of course that it doesn't violate other sensibilities).

It's not just a sexual quality. It's a personality.

BDSM
Bondage - anything about immobilization, partial or total
Discipline or Domination - elaborated on already
Sadism - deriving pleasure from inflicting pain
Masochism - deriving pleasure from being hurt

The idea was to give a rough introduction on what BDSM is... for those who are curious. It is with some trepidation that we accepted a blindfold each from Domina... I was actually worried that my friend Mari might be regretting that I dragged her to that lecture. But all Domina asked was that we blindfold ourselves and sit back and relax... as she seduced us with her words... as she challenged us to contemplate on our desires, our fantasies, our fetishes.

Later on, she did have us remove our blindfolds and went on to the more technical aspects of her lecture. Trying to explain as much as she could in the little time that we had, she defined terms for us and gave us a general idea of how things are.

She came up with a list of PINOY PERVERTABLES... stuff that's handy that Pinoys can use... like the simple tsinelas and walis-tingting in lieu of floggers and whips. She also gave an overview of deviant desires using a Fetish Map and entertained questions seeking to clarify and differentiate amongst them (like the minute difference between FURVERTS and PLUSHIES, one likes wearing the skin and fur, the other likes the plush stuff).

We were shown pictures of floggers and restraints and body bags (plastic bed-like thingies where one lies, and all the air is sucked out... and there's a tube near the person's mouth where he can breathe and his partner can control his breathing by covering the opening on the tube etc as 'breath play').

And then the much anticipated dreaded demo on flogging... and requirement for volunteers. Two souls were brave that night... and both swore that it was ticklish, soothing, a little painful, a little scary. Both also likened getting flogged to getting a hard massage... and the stinging sensations are easily replaced by soothing, wonderful ones when Domina responds to their "Ouch" comments by ceasing the flogging and caressing their back with the flogger (oh, of course Domina didn't deal with them simultaneously).

Domina expressly emphasized the virtue of respect and trust... that such a lifestyle requires that both (or all) are attuned to each other, their wishes, their feelings... she also stressed that people engaging in such play should pick a SAFE WORD, one that when spoken by the PERMISSIVE/SUBMISSIVE will not be mistaken for anything else... which would also end everything... and that THAT is ok. One of those present offered the word CHORVA :)

There was a recess of some sort where everybody was asked to partake of the refreshments while a volunteer offered himself to be tied up by Domina, with his wife assisting. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see how he got tied up (they did it in one of the rooms Carlos refers to as his DUNGEON) and since Domina didn't really have any plans of conducting a lecture when she visited, she didn't have her paraphernalia with her and they had to make do with what rope and telephone cord they could find (too bad I didn't think to bring my kernmantle ropes with moi). We were invited to the inner sanctum when the guy was already tied up in sample Shibari.

the advice
Domina's advice was to make something a fetish. How? Pick an everyday thing... and start thinking sensual, sexy thoughts about it, how it can feature in a sexual encounter... what sensations it could possibly bring etc. After a while, the body will most likely automatically 'respond' to the object.

Carlos' last words
Carlos thanked us all for coming and left us with these words:
If we want to change how Manila looks and feels... we have to change the way we see and feel about Manila.


*~*

Sunday found me and JRA (with sis, cousin and niece) attending two fairs.

One was the Wedding Expo at PICC... where we feasted on cake fountains.

And the other is at the Book Fair at the World Trade Center... where we spent hours buying children's books for Py and my niece... and getting susbcriptions to Readers Digest and Cosmopolitan... and buying a copy of beloved Batjay's KWENTONG TAMBAY book, a compilation of his best blog entries. I also bought a copy of his nephew's book entitled CITY LIGHTS.

Ooooh, we're all sooo happy for and proud of him!!! Hopefully, National Bookstore agrees to sell it in their shops so Batjay can reach more readers... feel free to e-mail National Bookstore, Powerbooks or Fully Booked for copies so that they'd know there's a market for Batjay's book :)

Anyway, those interested can probably contact Psicom because the book isn't really yet officially launched. I hope the book clicks and more Pinoys get empowered to write books.

(ako kaya, mapa-publish someday?)

Now, on a to a great week!

*~*

Tagged by MommyBa

SIX WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME
1) I put calamansi on ginisang munggo, and only really love tuna sashimi and siomai because I can dip them in toyo with calamansi!

2) I still eat powdered milk with some sugar... that childhood habit will never die, methinks.

3) The more I cum, the more I feel awake, and the more I can go on and on and on... but don't anyone dare wake me up from sleep, or initiate morning sex because I hate that.

4) I cried and cried when I watched THE EXORCIST.

5) I will eat raisins and carrots and tomatoes when they're uncooked... or unmixed with anything else. Once they're cooked, or mixed in some sald, I don't like them anymore.

6) I once fell in crush with Mr. Bean and Ron Perlman and thought them absolutely sexy!