bye, Bessie...

6:25 PM Friday, March 16, 2007

I'm trying very hard not to be overly upset... but my ex texted me today to tell me of the news that his eldest sister died this morning.

Bessie underwent heart surgery last year, and I vowed to visit her but never got around to doing it. After all, we had our hands full with Py too... and I think I felt a little embarrased to go.

How come? Well... we were close when I was going out with her brother... and that was close to a decade ago. She once even went here on a Christmas Day with Ex, bringing gifts, and upsetting our parrot.

She was kind to me and my sister. I loved her and my ex's mother as much as I loved my ex. And breaking up with the ex, I actually mourned losing them as future family. But of course, after the break-up, we lost touch.

I feel so bad for not having visited her when she just came out of the hospital... for not bringing her the cake I planned to bring her. Tomorrow, i'd be going to her wake and I know my heart will break... for her... for her Mom (who's already 75)... for our reunion to be so sad like this.

I'm also slightly upset that the superstition of it being bad for pregnant women to attend wakes is getting to me a little... not really because I believe in it 100%, but because I am on bedrest and have been discharging blood for two days now (as opposed to just having blood along with my discharge).

But I know I have to go... and say my goodbye to someone who was very nice to me.


When Py died, my friend G consoled me (and herself as well, I think) by texting me that she's sure her precious LJ was showing Py around heaven.

I couldn't help but text my Ex the same... that am sure Py would only be too happy to take her hand and show her around heaven too. Or get her to take care of him.


Really trying not to cry. But not crying might be doing me more damage than good, no?


I have often missed you, Bessie. But now there's no more pain for you... let's just pray together so your parents will be comforted, and your family will be supported as they deal with losing you.


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