jerks are made of men

8:03 AM Friday, March 23, 2007

I was trying not to fall asleep yesterday, so I went online and did my internet rounds (which, these days, is limited to reading up on anything and everything about pregnancy, of course)... an old gimik buddy (and one I used to flirt with before) messaged me in YM and we got to chatting.

Since he has impregnated someone last year, we talked about babies and the cost of having them. I even asked him if he could help us find a maid, since JRA and I are really useless at home, and due to my delicate pregnancy and my hubs' workload, the house is really becoming a pig sty.

Anyway... so on and on it went, our conversation.

And just like any other man, he had to verify if pregnancy makes women hornier. I was honest in my reply that I'm not really sure, seeing as sexual contact is a no-no for me (both orgasm and intercourse) right now... and it's really pointless to fantasize or self-titillate when I can't get release in the end.

And then he told me about all the other women he's sleeping with, while living with the mother of his child, and planning their wedding. He admits to knowing it's bad... but other women just turn him on, while his partner does not.

He even tries to rationalize what he's doing as saving his relationship... something about variety making him stay with his girlfriend.

Of course I told him it's all bull... that he just doesn't have a faithful bone in his body. And I told him i'd just pray that his girlfriend is also sleeping around... :)


When I was planning my wedding, I steered clear of MTC and my friends there... because I knew that the married men in my peer group were sleeping around, and that most of the women had no compunction of sleeping with married men. Add to that all the other tales I read or hear about...

Having been married for over a year now, I am not exempt from the temptations. A woman doesn't have to be pretty and really engaging even, because it's enough for a man's ego that you will betray your husband just to have sex with him. And I continue to 'meet' married men online, guys who chat me up by virtue of my libidinal reputation, who proposition me.

And I can't help but feel sad, a little, about being relegated to 'black book possibility'. After all, to a married man, you can't be anything more than a fling.

And I can't help but feel afraid, a little, knowing that even the most loving of wives get betrayed.

And I can't help but feel offended, a lot, for my fellow women... who are blind-sided by their love and trust.

And I can't help but feel sad again, a lot, because there's a bigger probability that these men, once caught, will be forgiven... if only to save the family.

If only forgiving them meant that they've become better partners... and not just better at hiding their affairs.

If only forgiving them doesn't mean enabling them... if only forgiving them doesn't perpetuate the belief that it's ok for a man to sleep around.

So yeah, jerks are made of men... and are made with women.


I know, married women can sleep around too.


And I wouldn't have a problem with the extra-marital affairs if they are 'blessed' by the spouse. But how many are in that kind of an 'open relationship'?


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