MEComposing

I still have rashes, as part of an allergic reaction, from last Saturday night's drinking of Bailey's and Tequila Rose... poisons i've taken before which didn't produce blurring of vision and palpitations/chest pains on the spot... so how was I to know that they could prove promisingly lethal for me when they deem fit? And all fun is spoiled with me feeling itchy from this prickly-heat looking rashes all over my neck and back and chest and stomach...

And no, I didn't show my girl friends my nipples because I was drunk. That kind of thing I can always do.

But never did I feel as if my head is gonna explode from too much heat either.

Anyway, it's official... no alcoholic drinks for me for a loooong time... no matter how chocolatey and milky they may be... and how little the alcohol content they may have...

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As of yesterday, I can now give a Swedish massage complete with proper draping and stretches for the client. Now, if only I can save up for essential oils so that I'd feel more and more 'professional' about giving massages...

We were asked to practice the routine everyday for 7 days so that we won't forget it anymore... and i've started by kneading my sister's tummy last night... for her excretory system... but dang girl is so lacking in flesh and so ticklish... I may have to force my cousin to be my practice dummy...

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It's been said that secrets are a funny thing... you keep it because you either don't want to get hurt, or you fear it will hurt people you care about. But secrets also drive you AWAY from the people you care about that you're keeping it from...

I have so many secrets. But four of them are simultaneously creating this void inside me... and affecting my relationships...

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I've always been the first to argue that it's seldom black and white in this world. I've always had an issue about not knowing where I stand. I've always had the habit of assuming the worst to protect myself from pain. I've also tried to never read more into what was being said and done, to me, for me, with me...

Not knowing isn't too bad if a part of you isn't hoping or wondering about something.

And I think it's official... I'm going crazy now because I can't make up my mind about someone... ergo, I don't know how to relate properly...

But some dark streets are better left undisturbed... some possibilities better left unexplored...