i shall not dance...

3:57 PM Wednesday, May 17, 2006

January pa lang, i had the bright idea na to accompany my friends who are having a hard time getting preggy to Obando... ever since I was a child kasi, I wanted to witness an Obando fiesta na... tas yun nga, nai-involve ako sa reproductive health problems ng friends ko... so ako na nagyaya... ako na din nag-research (better commute, jeeps/fx terminal could be found at LRT-Monumento bound for Paco, Obando)...etc

Basta, ever since I was a child, the Dancing at Obando has held a mystic sway over me... and i've always wanted to go. I just knew it would be a very humbling and liberating experience... to possibly see crying people, asking for a child, or celebrating for being given a child (because those who get blessed return)...

I looked forward to this so much...and kept it a secret from almost everyone, kasi ayoko ngang 'mabati'... while I made plans with friends.

Eto na... Bukas na yung feast ni Santa Clara... (pero May 17-19 sya talaga kasi they celebrate the feast of three saints, one for a husband, one for a child, and another for a good, prosperous life)... punta kami dapat bukas...nag-leave na lahat pati esposo ko...excited din kami kasi we planned na mag-check in sa motel tonight at Sogo Monumento since we have to be on our way to Obando as early as 4 AM... nakaka-miss pati yung motels!!! :)

Pero siguro sabi ni God, hindi pa naman sure what's wrong with me...or there may be nothing really wrong with me so wag na muna kami makigulo ng asawa ko... malay ko nga ba naman, nabuntis pala ako ni Jojo the other night :) Kaya pinadala Nya ng late yung Budget Call guidelines... kaya hindi ako pwede mag-absent in the coming days... and I have to miss this event with my friends...

O baka hindi pa ako ready for the miracle of Obando...

In a way, timing sa newfound polycystic ovaries ko (last Saturday, a trans-vaginal ultrasound told me I have polycystic ovaries, and yes, am not actually pregnant despite the lack of menses)... pero actually, I was planning to go there and ask intercession for Pyro... to thank the heavens for him and ask for his health... and just be with people who WANT to be parents... sabi ko nga before, iiyak siguro ako kung andun ako kasi i'd feel for their longing (even w/o yet knowing na i just might find myself in their shoes.... )

Isip ko din, the reason I can't go on leave tomorrow is because my boss is on ,maternity leave right now, the one who's really in-charge of the finplan na... so diba, parang may spiritual connection and reason na am missing a fertility dance because my boss is so fertile (5th kid! and she's the coolest!)

Sigh. I'm still sad. I might cry tonight and binge on ice cream. But am happy for my friends. And I am praying so hard that they finally be blessed with kids.

And if it's not too much to ask... may we become biological parents as well.

(ahehe... yes, if we're talking in person, i'd be speaking in Taglish


Please pray for PYRO because he's scheduled for another surgery. I dare not update his blog because i'm already too tired of crying whenever I think of him and his second surgery.


And of course, I did not forget...


Post a Comment