kissed and telling...

10:08 AM Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I believe the bar was called VERVE ROOM, just across Kemistry where people supposedly popped blue pills. Malate as a party district was on fire, and Libis was still being imagined by dreamers.

I fleet from stranger to stranger, like a bee trying on different flowers for honey. Why I was playinmg hostess, I don't remember anymore. But then again, that's just like me to be uber friendly and chatty. Besides, these guys were chatmates. And I had nothing better to do. I certainly didn't dig the rave music so I might as well 'interact' with the kids.

Kids... I call them kids because I was already working then, and most of then were still in college.

Across the room, on a sofa, sat this guy in blue polo shirt, huffing and puffing on one ciggy after another. Beside him was the girl he once flirted with and enticed enough to fall for him... the girl he suddenly turned cold with after meeting her in person the first time. Well, see, most people are more interesting over the internet and phone.

Anyway, there they sat together... the girl still being nice to him, still engagingly laughing at his jokes, still finding him interesting and attractive. And he WAS cute. And he continued to puff on ciggies eventhough he wanted to stop because he isn't really a regular smoker... and his chest was already complaining.

He was my boyfriend.

I was his girlfriend.

And I refused to join him because he was smoking.

And he was smoking because I was not joining him.

Sigh. To be young (and stupid) and in love.


I was in love with that boy. In retrospect, it's pretty evident that I never got around to really learning to love him. But I was in love with him for a time. In love enough to be self-destructive after our break-up (gosh, one of the nights I totally, totally regret having ever lived!).

But I think I was in love mostly because I found him cute :) And he was interesting and caring enough.

And later on, well, the sex was good.


Fast forward to over six years. We meet online again. And I can't wait to find out if he did get a certain girl pregnant... and if they're still together.

Because I felt sad for him then (when the girl was picking a fight with me eventhough I was not after her man). I knew of his dreams and he was still too young to be tied down.

But reading his hirets online, either he's unattached... or unhappy with his marriage. And either way, it's sad that he doesn't sound like he's done a lot of growing up.

And all that comes to mind right now is that: Shucks, I bedded that guy!


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