losing friends...

3:01 PM Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I believe I lost my longest-time 'bestfriend' when I got married. Or dare I say, she lost me?

It hurt me that, she didn't show up at my wedding. Worse, there was no text message at all to explain why... this, when she even gave me her father's complete name for the invitations.

Heck, not even a word to my cousins' wives to relay whatever message to me.

I'm taking it personally because I got JRA to borrow a car for us to attend her wedding in Lipa last July, where I even RAN just so I won't miss her bridal march, on a date I could have gone climbing instead with friends to celebrate a mountaineering anniversary.

I loved her that much.

And as if to drive home the point further (that our friendship has ended), one of my friends who attended my wedding replied to my "Thank You's" with a: "Hello, that's what friends do, attend each other's weddings"


And then who would have thought that i'd lose another of my closest friends so soon. But this time it was willful inconsideration, lies and betrayal from that person's part.

And ugh, an inability to listen... or at least, hear or accept what i'm saying.

And because that friend is from the present, the loss sometimes seems more than unbearable.

And it kills a part of you to know that you didn't drift apart... that in some weird way, you guys broke up.... that there was a decision to not be friends anymore.

I so hate losing friends.

But I hate being lied to all the more.

And I hate being led to hope or count on nothing much more.


Had, I believe, the most disappointing Valentines ever. And weirdly enough, it has to happen when am already married!

But then, let's chalk it all up to PMS, shall we?


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