MEComposing

A friend was texting me about another friend, how he's worried that our other friends are being too hard on this girl... how our friends didn't help in any damage control... but are now ganging up on this girl to make her feel how disappointed they were with her...

And this concern coming from a man who has often made me feel before that I don't have his respect. This acceptance and lack of judgement coming from the same man who seldom accorded me the same.

I guess it's true then... how harder we are with loved ones...

And how kinder we are with strangers.

Hahaha...

can't help but think of myself when i heard this song.

*~*

A good thing about LRT's separating women from the men... when I board the train around 7 pm on the days I meet friends at Mega Mall... instead of sweat and body odor... i smell all kinds of lotion, perfume, cologne, powder and shampoo.

What can I say, girls smell nice.

*~*

Rapture and Rupture .... difference lies at the 2nd letter... and the first one involving gentleness... the latter, violence...

Was talking with friends over coffee last Sunday... realized that I never had anyone have anything delivered to me...

Also realized that once, Alvin sent two dozen white roses to the house... for my Mom's birthday.

I will always thank the Heavens for such thoughtfulness... and for having known someone as sweet as Alvin was...

(I am not implying that nobody else in my life was sweet and gallant and thoughtful after that... it's just a great memory)

*~*

Already bought wine for my birthday... friends are teasing me that it's still over a month away... still, am anxious and excited and down because of it...

Still haven't finalized plans about buying the digicam. Tsk, tsk, tsk... bad...

*~*

My nephew is making me all kinds of happy.

I have often been teased about kissing with my eyes open... by the person i'm kissing, of course. I dunno, I just happen to like watching a man's expression... and that turns me on more...

Anyway, having been dared to play with a beer bottle last Tues night... I realized that I close my eyes more when I'm giving a man some oral loving... and that I'd often start out by just really gently stroking his schlong... and then, i'd start with just licking it's body... esply it's tip... and proceed from there...

It's a ritual I adhere to religiously... as if I cannot put anything in my mouth that I haven't teased and played with my lips and tongue... first..

baby turn around,
and let me see that sexy body go
bump bump bump (yeah)
that is all i want to see,
baby show me (come on)
baby turn around,
and let me see that sexy body go (yeah)
bump bump bump
the way you throwin that thing at me (uh yeah)
i can take it


Last Saturday, I thought I was a goner na... streets were flooded and I was silently saying goodbye to a night of fun when the heavens decided to cooperate...

And dance I did...

And I sincerely got the fix that i wanted... and so now, am feeling all bubbly and happy and satisfied...

*~*

Wore the top which you tie around your neck... and good thing that, even tho I went without a brassiere, and danced like there's no tomorrow... everything held well and there was no indecent exposure I should live with for the rest of my life that happened... lolz..

It was kinda hard tho... my nipples refuse to back down.. I'd sometimes have to stop dancing because the friction with the top causes ticklish sensations around that area... and I can't help but feel all kinds of self-conscious... I mean, if only anybody took the time to look, they'd see how my nipples are literally protruding from the folds of my top...

Bad...

*~*

Sunday... went to Lipa and visited my babies... Kyle (3 1/2 years old), Sofia (2 years old), Bryant (1 1/2 years old), Karylle (10 months) and Exekiel (2 months)...

Imagine the commotion... Imagine the chaos... Imagine the tenderness each one cannot help but elicit from all of us... and the frustration too...

Talked with my cousins' wives... about raising kids, about raising husbands, about raising in laws... and tho i'm still not a mother and a married woman myself... I could relate to them... I could complain to and with them.. I could sympathize and empathize with their tears, with their triumphs...

Ahhh... women... and families...

As I was praying I wouldn't slip from the puddles and puddles of water, and that I wouldn't get sick from the really heavy rains, I took refuge at Gamol since I had no hope of reaching Congo Grille with the heavy downpour going on around me.

And then, I saw HIM.

The guy I was in love and waiting for... for two years. The one I decided to say goodbye to, last January. The one I officially lost, even as a friend, last March methinks.

I don't think he saw me. He's pretty blind even with his glasses on. I couldn't help it, I texted him about taking care. And either he's changed numbers or deleted me from his phonebook, the reply I got was... Who's this?

And far be it from me to contemplate yet again on what I lost and found in him... last night, I couldn't help myself from wondering... who's taking care of him...

And no, it's not because he's f*cking up his life... and no, he's not incapable naman... but I really loved him once and I know he has to have someone take care of him, worry for him, mother him...

*~*

Started shaking all over yesterday, a close, close girl friend of mine called asking me to not judge her... and needing to tell her story. Why the shakes? Uhm, surely the revelation that your friend has dragged herself deeper and deeper in an abusive relationship isn't good news. And I couldn't cry for her anymore eventhough she gets beaten up by her drug-dependent brother... and emotionally abused by a boyfriend who has also started hurting her in 'small' and physical ways.

I just kept telling myself... no, am not happy that the women I looked up to before are the ones who have failed in their relationships and have ceased to be the empowered females who loved life and knew how to live it.

And my friend wasn't crying for help... even when she called me and ranted about the boyfriend who's been degrading her and disrespecting everything that she can be...

She was just crying.

And I love that friend of mine. And it hurts me that there is nothing we can do but wait... and trust life...

And so, not only am I praying for her family worries to stop, and for her to realize there is no love in her relationship with this man... I'm also praying that whoever it is God meant for her can wait... and will wait...

Pareho kami ni VERA

*~*


Your heart is broken. You were in love and somehow
or someway, it became lost to you and you have
never fully recovered. You yearn for someones
gentle kiss but know not where to find it and
are afraid of being hurt again. Have faith
little lost one, if you let it, love will
flourish for you again.


What is Your Hearts True Desire?
brought to you by Quizilla

*~*

Forgiveness, like apologies, is truly a friendship preserver.