erection or memory?

11:48 AM Thursday, April 27, 2006

JRA and I are loving the TV series Grey's Anatomy. At first, I couldn't get past Sandra Oh's face (sorry, but it's just so weird for me to watch someone who seemed to be lacking eyelids) but now could see why she won a Golden Globe for her role there. And i've always loved Katherine Heigl's face (from Valentine and 100 Girls) :) Am actually bothered by how Ellen Pompeo looks so much like Renee Zelwegger, and how weird her laugh is.

Anyway, last night's episode saw the interns dealing with patients who had possibilities of erection loss and memory loss (while one was brought into the hospital to die because nothing could be done for her). So I turned to hubby and asked, "Erection or Memory?"

He couldn't answer me.

I can imagine the devastation of memory loss, especially to your loved ones... but cannot quite fathom the implications of lost erection (or in a woman's case, libido?). And maybe because am a woman that I can quickly say that i'd rather have my memories than my sexuality, but indeed, what if I were a man at my prime?

Then of course, hubby had to joke... he can't get an erection if he cannot remember how, or what it's for... :)



Some friends have taken up the challenge to digiscrap. I guess if you're a beginner like me, and intimidated by Photoshop like me, here are a few pointers that could prove very useful:

1) You only need internet really to download kits, and maybe upload your pictures. And since kits are usually big files, dial-up connections would suck.

2) But when you're obssessed about getting better, learning more, or getting a kit for free, you can also join chat sessions (they usually announce the date and time in their message boards and newsletters).

3) If you're just starting out and not yet an addict, get the most out of FREEBIE offerings. ShabbyPrincess.Com is a great site because it offers these biggie kits complete with alphas (letters in .png format), elements, papers, etc. already. Go through the top Digital Freebie Sites if you have to so you can also check out TUTORIALS and actual LAYOUTS as well as register for the FORUMS.

4) If you don't know sh!t about Photoshop, do what I did... I printed tutorials. Of course, some tutorials prefer certain PS versions. And yes, you can also use Paint Shop Pro or Corel and some sites offer tutorials for them too.

5) When I say you're downloading big files, think HUGE. Usual paper size is more than 1 mb. That's because you want to preserve the quality of every element. Best to use pictures of the same size too (even if you're going to resize them).

6) Have them printed if you want. That was my main motivation to learn it, and i've had several printed and they're all cute. Unfortunately, there are some minor discrepancies between a digital 5x7 to a picture of the same size (5R) but it's ok, you'll learn your lesson soon enough.

7) Consider fancy fonts to embellish your layout. Think Dings but only install those you think you can really use (sooner or later, you'll be confident enough to transform the dings into PNG format and then delete the font from your font folder).

8) Installing so many fonts can be fun, but it will reduce loading time for fonts. In time, you may have to download and install a font manager. Or maybe you can just limit your font options to fonts you know you'd use time and again (I love Lainie Day, beautiful, jane austen and calvin n hobbes), and just install-delete special fonts you;d only use for a time.

9) You'd need a lot of space. Freebie kits and embellishments alone can already take up 1-2 gigs, what more your own layouts. Kits burned in CDs should still be saved in your hard drive, otherwise it will delay your PC's processing time.

10) Don't be scared of making mistakes. The good thing about Photoshop is it has this History column at your right where you can easily return to where you were before you committed the mistake. Do try the different filters. There's no other way to make you feel less intimidated.

11) Have and take lots of pictures. But when modifying your pictures, do not save changes when you're closing the file so you perserve the original (or save modified versions as a different file).

12) Have fun. Be honest with your sentiments (journalling). Feel free to fuss and be mushy. Feel free to be wacky.

One of the really stupidly cruel things I can do to myself: accidentally lose pictures I haven't saved or properly uploaded yet.

Hay. I selected the pics and clicked CUT... then proceeded to create the folder where I was transferring them. Then I forgot to PASTE them and hit DELETE button instead. I was able to save some pics but I lost A LOT. Worse, the deleted pics didn't end up in the recycle bin (could be because I deleted them from the SD card). Howell. Depression.


I've honestly never been really mali-mali but the weekend saw me making one blunder after another... losing money, wounding myself, forgetting things, etc.

Hay, don't tell me it's a sign of pregnancy! Grrr... Talk about low moments.


Anyway, hubby and I found ourselves tavelling with his family to San Juan again. His expat cousins with their kids were all there. His sister's in-laws also came with us. It was an afternoon of food, chit chat, drool and noise indeed.

Anyway, as we were at a Goat farm, it's only logical to 'enjoy' the goats with the kids. The goats are pastured all day and then rounded up in the afternoon. The farm's caretaker would round them up, and line them up, and then let them charge back to their pens. This is a treat the kids really delight in as they (we) all gather near the pens' entrance and watch the dirt road suddenly get dusty as the goats charge to THEIR OWN pens. (pictures to be posted tom)

Yes, it's very easy to train them, or so i've noticed. What's even more delightful is they have their own sense of territory. Not only do they know which pen they should return to, but the kids (young goats) who get lost and enter the wrong pen get booted out... or rather, hoofed out. :) Goats push them out. And when a kid feels it can't find the right pen, it will bleat... and an answering bleat from its Mom will guide it to the right pen.

And of course, for us humans, the bleats all sound alike so it's amazing how goats actually communicate :)


Young goats are called KIDS. Male goats are called RAMS or BILLYS. Female goats are called DOES or NANNYS.

Young sheep are called LAMB. Male sheep are called RAMS. female sheep are called EWE.

For other terminologies, click here.


One of the RAM sheeps was temperamental. He was picking a fight, and was being rejected by the other sheep (the vet and owner were transferring him from pen to pen, hoping he'd calm down). We've been asked to go to the end of the pen so we won't get hurt (the pen has 6 other mini pens, one pen is around 70 sq. meters big, i think) when unbeknownst to me, one of The Good Sons from our crowd is already meeting the charging, unhappy ram. I thought JRA's uncle would suffer from a heart attack there and then, and went leaping on top of the ram to restrain it. Poor Tito Robert got too scared to really shout or get angry, and I manhandled the resisting boy back to safety.

Actually, goats and sheep are usually gentle creatures. They get nervous when humans make noise. They panic when kids around them panic. They start running when they feel threatened. And it doesn't take much to threaten them.

The boy wouldn't have been hurt the way matadors are hurt by raging bulls. But a ram does have horns. And we're talking of Australian sheeps that are bigger than 5-year olds. They're heavy, they have hooves, and they can just frighten you enough to lead you wounding yourself with the bamboo fences.

Honestly, I believe it's stressful for the goats to have human visitors... esply kids. But like what I said, the kids love them! Even girls who are into Paris Hilton will pet and carry them and try their might to smile for the camera (hay, remember pics I lost here), this despite their fear of the kids, and despite the kids' bleating cries in fear of them.


Tito Robert was explaining to Tita Baby that male goats MARK their female partners, and the rampaging ram was actually manifesting some superiority complex and reminding the other goats that an ewe was his. Having other male goats interested in his ewe will upset him. Usually, marking a female ewe means rubbing off a male's scent on her (pheromones?)... and this tells the otehr rams that she's now off limits to them.

One of the girls, Sarah (from Oz), told the vet to explain to her what her grandpa was saying. The vet was having a hard time communicating well in English so I did the explaining for her. I actually felt weird describing mating dances with a child but oh well. The vet made a comment (in Filipino/Tagalog) about how the same is true for humans and we both laughed. The girl then said:

"Did she just say something mean about me? Why are you both laughing?"

Surprised that she had this inner paranoid going for her, I still immediately set her right. She then went:

"Oh yes, you really can't be with someone else's wife, otherwise you'd be sent to jail. Unless you're from here (meaning the Philippines), where you can just go to another province."

And she said that matter-of-factly.


Sarah's Mom was holding JRA's baby niece in her arms. Sarah's older sis was around (because she was trying to get away from wasps) and I asked her if she wants another sibling.

She said:

"I'd love to have a boy in the house. Anotehr sister would be too annoying."


But these girls are actually very warm and nice. Totally lovable, unlike my own nieces and nephews from Australia (then again, maybe their parents, my cousins, brought them up to feel they're friggin' superior than those who live in the Philippines).


Again, interested parties can inquire from rca061180 @ (spaces are just so he won't get spammed). Pure-blood (ooohhh, Harry Potter comes to mind) goats/sheep can cost as much as P45,000 per goat. Buyers usually buy two goats (who'd act as studs) because brother/sister goats don't really mate (or can't actually reproduce together) and need another set to mate with. That's basically how you start your own goat farm.

Goats usually give birth to a maximum of two, and the rare occasion where a third kid comes out produces problems for the caretakers (where will the 3rd kid nurse? a goat has only a set of two teats)

Their clients include Chavit Singson and Manny Villar.


I'm still real sad about losing the pics. But am still delayed so there's something to look forward to.

Besides, I have the warm memories of a loving family spending an afternoon together.

a proposition (tee-hee)

10:35 AM Thursday, April 20, 2006

Below is an e-mail I got:

hi ms delicious. I like to go out with you. I'm ______ from antipolo, 35, fit, neat, goodlooking, in heat, friendly, & game. I'm quite interested in experiencing your company in private. Hope you can spare some time. You look extremely gorgeous and seductive in bed. my cell # is 0920*5*8*47. I'd like to know how to contact you by phone too. Stay wet & sexy. Smile always Ü

He sent that using his company e-mail, with the usual sgnature of his complete name, exact office address and department, designation, and contact numbers.

I replied with this :)

Technically, a man can never be IN HEAT because that phrase actually refers to a woman's fertile phase during her menstrual cycle :) HORNY or ADVENTUROUS are more appropriate words, I believe :)

And I don't have any idea how you can say I look gorgeous and seductive IN BED when we obviously haven't met... and I can bet my bottom dollar that you don't know anyone I've slept with (who also happened to take lurid pictures and video which he/they showed you)...

I'd also like you to know that i've never been one for hooking up with strangers, no matter how liberated I may come across... or what you may have heard.

Still, I guess I should be grateful for the interest... because it suggests something about me was interesting. Thank you. And may you have better luck hooking up with someone else.


E-telecare is one of the clients of the company my husband works for as Sr. Technical Manager.


On another note, it's been 28 days since my last period, and am still period-less today. The usual indications that a period is coming also haven't manifested... but am giving myself 10 or more blood-free days before whipping out a Home Pregnancy Test Kit. Meanhwile, it sucks not to be able to take anything for my allergies and colds... I know it's safe to take some (paracetamol, decongestant, even antibiotics when necessary) but of course I don't want to risk it (just in case I am infanticipating and being so might wreak more havoc with my immune system and further exaggerate my allergies to drugs).

Sigh. The possible beginning of the many sacrifices a woman makes (read: a mother's love).

My head aches. *Ouch*

of deaths and rebirths

3:35 PM Monday, April 17, 2006

Married for almost 5 years now, Angie and Mike are getting ready to move into their home... a home that cost them their life savings (so far) and some Pag-Ibig Loans, but a home that's theirs nonetheless... a home where they hope to raise their son (who is turning 4 years old) and maybe another child (they're shooting for next year)...

And then suddenly, Mike is taken away from all these plans and dreams by a heart attack at age 46.


Yesterday was Easter Sunday... a celebration of the day when Jesus lived again. How ironic it must be for my friend (colleague) to have her husband die while the world is celebrating the miracle that made Jesus God.

I can also only just imagine her shaken sense of security... and the questions in her mind right now. What happens after this? How do I raise my son alone? How do I deal with the payments? Do I even live in what should have been our home? What do I do with the car? How will this loss affect my child? What if something also happens to me?

Fears... insecurities... the edge of sanity and reason...


The news was a SAD way to start this week... I only hope God blesses my friend with some peace so she can rest enough to deal with the grief, the loss, the ensuing trials ahead... I know she has friends and family she can lean on... I know she'd be alright... but she doesn't know that yet, right now...


Please offer a silent prayer for MICHAEL LLOSE.


Meanwhile, spent some time with the other babies of my life.

Mat Cork, Striped Tag, Elements string, rivet and wireheart (i dunno who to credit them with), Die Cut Alpha and Slalo font

LG Free Spirit Kit, Angelina and Calvin n Hobbes font

But of course, am sorely missing Py.

spoiled and pampered

2:35 PM Monday, April 10, 2006

I started my weekend by taking my clothes off in some dark, air-conditioned room with slow music playing in the background...

Yes, I got a massage. And I got Edith again and had a really wonderful time sleeping while her hands did wonders to my bod. She's not as perfect as Gloria was, nor as good as the blind girl who massaged me in CDO, but I wouldn't mind being her regular customer. And all this time that i've been a patron of the Blind Massage Salon at Rob Place, it was the first time last Saturday that I let oil be applied to me (actually Edith forgot to ask, for i'd really prefer a dry massage). The peppermint-y scent was nice... if only it's not summer, i'd ask for oil again!

For P350 (plus tip), it wasn't a bad way to start my weekend :)

Saturday found me and hubby with nothing to do. We ended with a new baby instead: a new personal computer! It seems surreal that my other baby (digicam) cost more than this new purchase (by around P7-8k) since the digicam is so small compared to something that occupies the entire table we use for dining (so yes, we don't have a dining table anymore).

I found out that it takes longer to format a bigger hard disk (ahehehe, despite the techie stuff we own, am really uber techie-challenged) and felt guilty that I couldn't really do anything to help hubby. But he managed to finish all the basic installations... just so I can start digiscrapping using Photoshop CS.

We were up till 4 am (Sunday), me just digiscrapping... while he's reading up on Avaya stuff in his laptop.

Friendship Buttons, Mrs. Schmuck - Sweet Chlose metal flowers, NRJ Sunnydaze Tag, LG Free Spirit Flowers & Stitch, TCO In Between Days - Ribbon, Sweet Sprinkles by Shabby Princess - Gellin Dots and Quill Font

Hubby also found me this tutorial video that had me amazed at all the little things you can do with Photoshop. Am not so brave yet to try them (esply since they'd require certain pictures) but am really having fun! I've been battling with my inherent preference to let a picture speak for itself so it's taking me awhile to let go and just embellish, embellish, embellish!

(maybe hubby's very supportive not only because he loves me, but because he knows I can't return to mountaineering in the near future because of our babymaking plans)

Of course, Sunday is CSI replays. Cousin gave me a massage while we all watched that black guy in CSI:NY channel Horatio's cockiness and Grissom's genius.

Then of course, since we haven't gone on a date for a long time now... hubby and I decided to treat ourselves to Seaside (Macapagal). Because there were only two highly-recommended restos there, we settled for G-Squared (because Aling Tonya's was jampacked) and kept to simple fares because there were only two of us. Still, we definitely enjoyed the following:

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Chopped tomatoes, seasoned with soy sauce and calamansi

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Grilled tuna belly (not sure if a kilo of tuna belly cost P180, grilling it cost P100)

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Crabs and Shrimps in sweet-chili sauce (although I think it's more like garlic-chili, considering all the garlic in it! anyway, crabs cost P200/kilo, shrimps cost P350/kilo, and having them cooked cost P150/kilo)

Talk about filled to bursting! Actually we only consumed half of the tuna, and half of the crabs n shrimps combo. (even shared the crabs and shrimps with my colleagues at lunch today).

Juice at G-Squared was P40 (more than 100% mark-up huh!) and they had this ice cream station at Seaside that offers desserts for the entire seafood area... one offering was this large scoop of vanilla ice cream surrounded by leche flan which cost P75. They also had a band there entertaining the seafood lovers.

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Taxis are abundant... vendors CAN be real noisy... but it's far cleaner and less chaotic than Dampa Libis and Sucat (?) or Seaside Baclaran. And they even had tanks for some fishes and seafood. I was absolutely drooling over oysters (even if I don't like how they taste anymore... which is weird because I could eat 2 kilos of them all by myself) and freshly prepared tuna sashimi. But again, in case I was preggy, I mustered all the self-discipline I possess to turn a blind eye to all the tuna sashimi being offered us.

Not that the food we bought weren't fresh and succulent enough, for they were! Eating the tuna belly was like eating the tenderest of pork... it was that meaty! And the shrimps and crabs are all meaty and gummy and juicy. Crabs are transported from Bataan. And ok, i'd stop raving about them now (goodnes, i've just eaten lunch!)

What's more, I had a whole pint of coffee crumble ice cream for dessert last night. Only, we were so full we dared not sleep till past 2 am.

Going home from Seaside, my hubby teased me about not being any different from Kobe beef (cows with special diet and only drink sake, and get massaged everyday... which is why they're ultra tender and tast... and dang expensive!).

Hay.... :)

BTW... I caught Kung Fu Hustle at AXN... first time I saw it... and I soooo loved it!!!!

How did your weekend go?

karmic retribution at its finest

6:35 PM Thursday, April 06, 2006

or so it feels right now. But warning guys, REALLY MALICIOUS POST AHEAD!

I was busy working when it occurred to me to check my YM for msgs (since I seldom log on anymore). True enough, friends readily invited me to conferences and gave me updates on what's going on in their lives right now.

A girl friend asked me, "Mec, gusto mo sumaya?"

:D To cut the story short, someone shared with her a really REVEALING PIC of someone we know... and she shared it with me.

See, the message board (i can't seem to find the correct url), an offshoot of (which I used to even help moderate), would usually arrange for this EB-sort of thing that's exclusive for guys. Guys pay upfront a certain fee to cover food, suite and girls-for-hire. The guys would usually say that it's tame... but actually it's not. Not all guys who attend get in on the action... but it can get quite raunchy in there. Think nudity and pubes everywhere, with the hired girls servicing one or two or all at the same time.

The real pathetic thing about such gatherings is that...the men forget that there are other people there who have these digicams... talk about being caught in an... err... compromising situation. Hehe. I dunno, they must be in some macho high, being naked and getting his pecker sucked and what-not. But stupid just the same.

So now, I have this picture in my inbox.

At first, I didn't want to see the pic... I mean, why would I wanna see the d!ck of the guy my former friend chose over her friendship with me, diba? But my girl friend seemed to be laughing in pure mirth and raving about how SMALL the guy's d!ck was. I caved in... and had her send me the pic.

And I sh!t you not... instead of feeling violated by the indecent act (imagine going butt naked in front of people, most of whom are strangers, and having some hired stranger suck or do you in front of all these people) and the fact that this naked guy never turned me on (plus he's my friend's bf... it's like a weird form of incest)... I WAS AMAZED instead by how I could see NOTHING except his untrimmed pubes!

It was that small!

I mean... I never had to squint to see Pyro's little wiener when he's taking a piss... but this guy, ahhh, it's like his pecker didn't have a body... only a head. So there's this brown hubcap-looking (ok, I actually used 'half a chico' to describe it to some people) entangled with his pubes and that's it. Or a mushroom head. Or some really brown PIGSA. Or some unpopped blister.

Gosh. Who knew that one of the men I really hate the most would be the epitome of "d!ck smaller than my pinky finger"... and to top it all... he's over 6 feet tall with the build of a basketball player. Bwahahahaha.

Karmic retribution is good! Life knew I could never really have him killed for being such a jerk to my friend, and for making me look like a liar... which is why Life sent me a picture that explains why he is a jerk. Truly, WALANG GAMOT SA INSECURE!!!

And to think, when the one he had a one-night stand with told me his was small... I was gracious enough to suppose that maybe he's just average-sized, which would look small indeed given his height.

Pero nde... DYUTAY talaga!

And then, it occurs to me to pity my friend. Awww... is this the pecker she gave up her virginity for? Is this the pecker she's willing to lose friends over and spend an eternity happy-fying? Should I get someone to proposition her...or at least, flash her... so she'd know that the man she so believes and defends is shortchanging her in more ways than she's ever known?

Maybe the guy is why she doesn't believe in anything good anymore... for how can there be a heaven with a d!ck so ... uhm... not there? :D

Hay naku... I was just really so weirdly elated with the pic, I even thought to forward it to the girl... just so she'd realize what her man does when he's lying to her.

Yes, such spite! I just really hate this jerk. Bwahahaha. Ngayon nya ako i-msg at sabihan na "galingan ko pagsisinungaling ko". Bwahahahaha.



9:35 AM Monday, April 03, 2006

That's the usual battlecry of mothers in my neighborhood when they refer to me when we were young.

In fact, some mothers or feeling concerned citizens would even advice other girls from hanging out with me. They'd often say that my 'kalandian' might rub off on their child.

And no, they didn't call me MAARTE. After all, I wasn't the type of girl who's always dressed up nice. In fact, I didn't have a problem with getting dirty (but no, I wouldn't go so far as stink like a boy naman). MALANDI is what I was called...

Even prissy Catholic classmates would warn some of my friends against me. And again, that word would always surface in their careful conversations and concerned letters to my friends.

What made me malandi?

Basically, in the late 80s and early 90s, I loved hanging out with boys. And I had no problem wearing shorts. Short shorts (but not what you'd call p3kp3k shorts naman, ahehe).

The thing was, I didn't even have a bf in school or in the neighborhood. I just loved hanging out with boys (who are free of the pretentious air of the usual adolescent girl) and err... making them realize how most of them are idiots and how women/girls aren't the inferior lot they consider us to be.

Sure, I may have flirted with some or most of them. But like what a childhood boy friend would often say... I seem to have this wall that discourages boys from the neighborhood to really go after me.

Which is a contradiction of some sort from the fact that I grew up attracting both healthy and unhealthy male attention... from boys to teeners to old men. And I always got love letters (however idiotic the grammar used was to write them) and I always had suitors and admirers.

And I'm talking about me at an age when I haven't even hit high school yet.

High school however found me ceasing to hang out in our street (by this time, my playmates are more bent on giggling and gossip anyway) because of romance novels and love songs. I did not exactly become a recluse because I had a social life in school, but my street life stopped then.

But my playmates who were warned against playing with me? Some of them started doing drugs... dropping out of school.... and then having babies.

In fact, the malandi girl was the last to get married... and was even outdone by really younger playmates (some of whom are my brother's and my sister's playmates).

And when I see some of those I used to play with before... I cannot help but feel a little sad, knowing how most of them still live off their parents, and how most didn't finish college... and how some married drunkards and good for nothing jerks... and how some didn't get married at all after getting knocked up... and how some keep getting knocked up by different men...

and if truth be told, i'd sometimes silently mock the mothers who used to attempt to bring me down before with their judgmental ways... because hello, who's living a good life now?

Then again, back in the days when kids were being kids... and the most the neighborhood kids can taunt me with was "MALANDI!", I used to retort back "DI BALE NANG MALANDI, WAG LANG BOBO!"

Because really... though i've had my share of bad judgment, i'd hate being born stupid.