Heaven Help Me

6:56 PM Monday, September 29, 2008

My parents being here... not good. Not good for me. Especially my Mom.

And I really don't want to turn this blog of mine into a telenovela of every little enabling thing that my mother does for my brother.



An Extra Feast

9:41 PM Sunday, September 28, 2008

Leave it to a Catholic Priest to come up with yet another reason for a feast.

The Parish Priest in our barrio in Lipa instituted a new tadition three years ago. Aside from the parish feast (which we celebrate every 2nd day of January), he assigned a saint to each barrio whose feast day should be celebrated. We got San Lorenzo Ruiz and today is his feast day.

My cousin was the Hermano for this year... and he solicited from my aunts and uncles abroad to fund the lunch that he (our family) is going to host for the barrio.

Sure, there was a Mass before lunch... but I ask you, could an extra feast really bring back the people into the Christian way? Heck... it actually gave people another reason to act non-Christian because men binged on booze and people showed up for food they didn't work for.

Red Flag Special

3:22 AM Friday, September 26, 2008

You would think that because all/most women menstruate and go through all that PMS sh!t that they can live in the same house or be in the same group and be able to tolerate each other's menstruation-related tempers.

So yeah, hail to the men who put up with us.

Right now, my cousin is in a bad mood because she has her period. And she's entering menopause. I, on the other hand, have bad PMS cravings and crabbiness. Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Poor son, I can't help but be short on him too.

I spent the whole day on the verge of flying in a rage. I was just that restlessly mad. Ugh. Hormones. I only calmed down after half a block of chocolate. Tsk. Sugar aggravates PMS, I know, but twas the only thing that worked!

I used to have PMS cravings. I used to have menstruation-related irritation and b!tchiness. But never this bad. This is soooo weird. Plus, i'm delayed again but am pretty sure am not pregnant. The thought that my cycle likes to skip a month each time just drives me nuts because the PMS is just worse.

Sorry. Rant.

But somebody deliver me from this evil!

Which TV Series Do You Miss?

8:44 AM Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I am loving the second season of Gossip Girl, and looking forward to Heroes (Villains), Grey's Anatomy and The Amazing Race.

But I see some TV series tag happening in blogs about old TV series that you wouldn't mind coming back. Well, here's a list of my former guilty pleasures.

Beverly Hills 90210
It's been revived but reviewers only really liked that Brenda Walsh was back. Other than that, it supposedly stinks, and its starlets are all verging on anorexic while the guys all seem too pretty to just be metrosexuals. Spoiler alert though, Dylan had a one-night thingie with Kelly which resulted in he being a single Mom.

The first three or four seasons, at least. Okay, I have a thing for Shannen Doherty, so sue me.

The Nanny
But there's a marathon of old episodes going on in Disney Channel (I think) every Sunday night. Anyway, love Fran Fine's atrocious (but sexy) outfits, her long-suffering and equally-nasal Jewish Mom, and the tension between Cece (?) and Niels.

Touched by an Angel
Loved how they tackled modern-day issues in a spiritual way, like teenage pregnancy and surrogacy. Sure, it was very spiritual but I loved Monica and Tess!!!

J.J. Starbuck
This is another inspirational one... but it was no-nonsense in its charm.

Just the 10 of Us
I hope I got the title right... just love the family dynamics!

Married... with Children
Who here didn't love the Bundys?

3rd Rock from the Sun
Ugh... I was in love with French Stewart fo a while.

Growing Pains
My personal fave episodes are what I call Swept Away episodes, when Kirk's character fell in love with this Hawaiian girl and always, the theme song played is Christopher Cross' Swept Away... hehe

Awww... I miss that series. I don't like the new cartoon versions, not even the movie versions. X-men in the early 90s had me in love with Gambit and Beast (and okay, Wolverine).

Ally McBeal
If only for that quirky guy who remote flushes the toilets... and that arrogant guy whose fetish are wattles (?) and loose skin.

I still see a lot of Friends, Seinfeld, and Will & Grace. I also still see a lot of Mr. Bean. I don't laugh anymore over the Three Stooges. And I think Living Dolls was stopped for a reason.

Back when I was still working, computer and printer supplies were sometimes an issue. Due to bureaucracy, red tape and corruption (are those one and the same?), it sometimes takes months for our Procurement Office to get hold of cartridges for the printers they have issued to us. What's more, they kept purchasing colored inkjet printers which usually do not just require two different cartridges (black and colored) but four individual ones (black, cyan, magenta and yellow). And of course, printer manufacturers made sure some printer models would refuse to work if just one of the cartridges was running low on ink.

We also couldn't use generic ink on those printers because that would mean losing the warranty the printers came with.

And also because of the bureacracy, it takes ages before procurement proposals are reviewed and approved and actually purchased, so we'd also sometimes end up with outdated models where it will take twice as long to find compatible inks.

And I have not discussed repairs/maintenance hassles yet. But I hope you appreciate how getting our hands on office supplies can be a challenge sometimes. I don't think our Procurement Office even had an office supplies cross reference system to utilize.

So it would really have been cool if there was a local counterpart to Answerco.com's printer supplies cross reference system, which not only generates information as to where computers, printers, copiers and digital cameras even are available, it also offers price comparisons too.

What's more, it's even now offering a widget which bloggers can use to give their readers access to the price comparisons. Earning a commission from any Amazon sale is also a great bonus. This is particularly nifty since a lot of bloggers and blog readers have started home businesses which could benefit dearly from these office supplies. Better, faster printers for your printing business? The widget is sure to land you some great buys!

So maybe I will try that widget out (hopefully it will work with my classic template because not all widgets do).

We Used to be Mountaineers

1:29 PM Monday, September 22, 2008

Amazing how before, the only heavy things we caried were our backpacks, and we could put those down without being cried to and feeling guilty.

Amazing that we could eat with dirty hands and off each other's water bottles but would probably shriek if we see our kids doing the same.

Amazing that we used to be more concerned of rain than the cold, and we didn't bother about clean beddings and shirts, and mosquitoes didn't concern us more than leeches would. But now, we're all OC in our own way. And all missing the mountains that we used to commune with all those time years ago.

We used to be mountaineers. We're hoping we could be again someday soon. But breastfeeding and being stay/work-from-home Moms (without help) isn't exactly ideal for leaving a child behind (or in Jah's case, two kids and one on the way), no matter how many bottles of pumped milk you store.

I guess our mountains conquered is all figuratively for the meantime.

Parents are Coming

10:02 PM Sunday, September 21, 2008

... hopefully, our reunion will be a better one than all the rest before. This means, however, we wouldn't be complete again this Christmas since my Mom has to go back in a month's time.

I hope my parents will spend a lot of time with their grandkids. I'm not really expecting them to take my son off my hands for extended periods of time but it really saddens me that my son is growing up not enjoying his grandparents as much.

On a maddeningly annoying note, my uncle has been calling everyone already asking if my Mom is already here. It would have been sweet if he was doing it because he couldn't wait to see my Mom, but we all know it's because he's expecting to 'borrow' money again from her.

So I guess the P20k my Mom already gave him to use as capital didn't yield any returns.

Families... sigh.

Taking Home Food

8:58 PM Friday, September 19, 2008

JMom's post brought to mind my amazing boss and made me wonder if i'd have to deal with some again for my son's upcoming birthday.

See, at my son's baptism, I was surprised to see people (from my side of the family) who were already packing food from the buffet. I was aghast, because the guests were still eating and nobody had approached me to ask for permission. Of course, I was embarrassed, thinking of my husband's share of the guests and what they'd say.

Well, it wasn't that bad really, because the guests were already helping themselves to second and third helpings... but still, i'd rather I was approached first. Turned out, my SIL's family did it first, and when my cousin saw it, she told her siblings to also get their own.


But I guess, when you have relations that aren't that well-off, you cannot really expect the same social graces from them. ButI do know who's in need and I always make it a point to give to them first when there are things left to give. And you know, it also sometimes suck... you pay using your hard-earned money to throw a party and you don't even get to bring home the leftovers for supper. Again, that's kinda forgivable if only the guests will be considerate... and not act as if we owe it to them to send them off with loot. I mean, if it's wrong to throw a party and expect gifts, surely it's also wrong to attend a party and expect extra food and giveaways?


I Owe Bloghops Again

5:46 AM Thursday, September 18, 2008

And i'm sorry for owing them. But I will return your visit... hopefully, someday soon.

Heaven Help Me with My Sis

5:55 PM Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Like what I told her, I get that she wants to enjoy hanging out with her friends. I've been where she is right now and I get the high gimmicks can give you.

But since she's reviewing for the Nursing Board, after a year of graduating and missing two Board Exams already, and not ever really practicing any of what she learned in school during that time, I really expect her to focus.

And since she's seen firsthand how my parents struggle abroad to build a life for her there, and support my brother here, I really expected more consideration for them from her.


And yes, I will admit that I am terribly annoyed and concerned after learning that her current BF drives a motorcyle. Helmet or not, I think those things shouldn't be allowed in major roads.

photohunt: wild

5:21 PM Saturday, September 13, 2008

Calauit Game Preserve and Wildlife Sanctuary is about three hours of rough roads from Coron (and a 5-30 minute boat ride, depending on where you started and what your boat is like).

Personally, going there isn't worth the long hours on bumpy road, mainly because the sanctuary is not really that maintained anymore. Plus, the locals have been hunting the deer running wild and free for their meat. But of course, something has to be said about seeing all these animals we usually just see in zoos roaming free, with expanses of land to themselves, to go about and graze as they please.

The sanctuary has a long way to go to catch up with other similar ones (like ones in Africa, ustralia dn some parts of Asia), which is too bad really because it is such a huge, rich island where animals are sure to thrive.

I'm Done

1:53 PM Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Around two weeks or so ago, I arranged babysitting for my son to meet up with old gimmick friends from myg, mtc and gni (all message boards). I was excited about it, eager to see old faces and see who got fat and all...

I was already at Starbucks in Metro Walk at 5:00 PM. Talk about being an eager beaver! But people were late in arriving and after sitting there for some two hours, I was already too bored for words and called it a night.

Mind you, I think i'd always love dancing... and would welcome any chance to go. I miss it. But even if I don't ever get to do it again, I know I really wouldn't mind either.

And the senseless chatter of who banged whom and who hooked up with whome and who hasn't gotten over yet with whom... all tiresome and old. I mean, i've talked that talk for years already before, and here are old faces still talking the same sh!t this day, it's crazy sad. I couldn't help thinking... when will they grow up? When will they stop searching for meaning and actually create it instead?

Twas a total waste of make-up and thong, for sure! Good thing I opted not to flash some cleavage that day too.

Oh, but I still got to bond with some old friends over my fave cream chip drink. They at least moved on and it was actually nice catching up with those two.


One thing that was also nice that time was being able to catch guys' eyes. Sure, I can't compete with the pretty, young things in their short skirts and dresses anymore... but it sure is nice to validate that, if I only exert some effort, I still manage a presence :)

Super Awww Moment

11:48 AM Sunday, September 07, 2008

I cannot explain why this video brought tears to my eyes. Maybe because I know Trig has Down's syndrome and to see him cared for so lovingly by his sister just made me so happy for him, and so touched by her innocent caring.

And I really doubt it's a gimmick of Sarah Palin's camp. Sure, Lindsay Lohan was right to point that Sarah should stick to her politics instead of distracting people with her teenage daughter's pregnancy, but I really doubt anyone thought this gimmick up.

Way to go Piper... may you really grow up with much heart.

U.S. Politics, Thinking Aloud

2:18 AM Saturday, September 06, 2008

Note to possible readers... I have not really done research on these people's politics. All these are just impressions.


I was thrilled for the U.S. and full of wonder on whether the Democrats just might give the U.S. either its first Lady President or its first Black President. Either way, it would have been a phenomenal milestone reached in its history. The Democrats chose the Black guy (which brought to mind a discussion before on social hierarchy, how sex/gender always comes first, then race, then wealth/power... which makes the black, poor woman the least woeful one to be). Am sure they have their reasons.

Anyway, Obama comes across as someone fresh and spunky. I watched his debate before with Hilary and he was just cool and collected. I guess it didn't help Hilary that she too passionate and appeared arrogant, aggressive and opinionated.

And then I read an e-mail saying Obama is a liar and discussed point by point just how, the biggest contention of which is that he's not exactly the discriminated, underprivileged Black he was trying to project... because if ever he does get elected, he'd actually be America's first Moslem President. He was more Moslem than Black, that was what made him different.

But I guess, his skin tone will always be a rallying point for all the migrants in the US. And by golly, the celebs have sure come together for him. I can't even name one who supports McCain and yet I can name several supporting Obama (George Clooney, Rosie O' Donnell who even bashed Angelina Jolie for not yet supporting Obama, Kate Walsh, Jessica Alba, Oprah... I can go on and on).

But it is this popularity that has me concerned now. It seems he actually lacks leadership experience (Republican running VP Sarah Palin is reported to have more experience, and she's from Alaska). I mean, the only things i've ever heard thrown McCain's way is his age and maybe the conservative stance of the Republicans. And then I see Obama promising so much so soon, it's just become too much of a popularity game instead.

I'm concerned because a lot of economies depend on the US'... ours included.

Just A Little Envious

12:53 AM Thursday, September 04, 2008

A good friend's father passed away. And she wrote a really beautiful entry about him. And I cannot help but be envious... not that her father is dead (because I love my Dad enough to be happy he's still alive) but that her father was the way he was, and that she is the daughter she is.

I am racking my brains right now for a memory of my Dad surprising me with something nice. Not that he wasn't thoughtful... both my parents were, in their own way. But I think the fact that my Dad chooses to 'keep things from us' in pursuit of feeding his ego with false praises by users and abusers... that has really estranged him from me.

And it's really traumatic to have someone you've put on a pedestal all your life be disclosed as not just far from perfect, but sometimes even downright mean. And I never will get why, although he never had affairs, he'd also choose to betray my Mother's trust and allow people to think otherwise. Where is the loyalty in that, if her honor wasn't something you protected?

I know I am being very cruel and heartless and selective. But I have really yet to accept that my father never loved my mother as I expect a husband should love his wife. Therein lies my misery. It's why I think he's failed me as a father.

Hopefully, we still have time to be a better father and daughter to each other.

Do You Think of Your Eulogy?

3:18 AM Wednesday, September 03, 2008

How it might go... how you want it to go?

Can you even confidently say who will come running to grieve with your family when you finally snuff it? Who'd be holding your hand in your death bed?

Do your siblings love you enough? Do your kids? Does your spouse? What about your friends?

It's scary but I just realized that I have not commanded that degree of love and respect yet. I know I have friends and I know my family loves me, but I am far from the person I want to be.

And no, it's not that I want to be nice and all just so people will go to my funeral. But isn't it the truest testament of how well you've lived, when people are actually sorry to see you go... instead of breathing a sigh of relief?