seriously: pregnancy

4:35 PM Wednesday, October 31, 2007

1) You get first dibs on elevators and comfort rooms. Lines will literally part before you.
2) Your husband is converted to a slave, nurse and personal assistant.
3) You get first dibs on food.
4) You get the pregnancy glow.
5) You have hormones to blame for every tear and every forgetfulness and clumsiness.
6) You bring forth a child.
7) Love grows within your marriage/family.

1) It's expensive. From check-ups to supplements to ultrasounds to complications to the actual delivery... and when the baby comes, it just gets more expensive.
2) It's compromising.
3) You are left scarred... from the stretch marks to the episiotomy or CS scar.
4) You are deprived sleep.
5) It's painful in varying ways and intensities.
6) Once baby is born, you are more compromised and end up lacking more sleep.
7) You are overwhelemed with emotions... and become more weepy.

I think I better not continue lest this post turns into a rant. But the truth is, pregnancies are really scarring and life-changing. You are just simply never the same even if you end up miscarrying your baby.

A married woman can feel SINGLE again... if she's widowed or gets separated, annulled, divorced. But once a woman becomes pregnant, she becomes a parent. And after she's given birth, her heart will forever beat outside of her. And her perspective will forever have changed.

Anyway, I am still trying to settle into a new normal... everyday is a constant struggle to remain sane. The downsides to pregnancy are limitless to me and I have to literally point them out to myself again and again. But alas, I could never regret it for I am now tied to my child. I doubt I can ever see the world again as the wonderful place it is without him.

I am in love... scarred, but in love. I am changed. I have been raped and ravaged emotionally and physically. But I am in love.


Sorry if the post is SOC... I lack sleep.


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