MEComposing

Arrrrgghhhh...

why did you have to call and remind me all over again how much you've betrayed my trust... and how undeserving you were of my faith?

Why?

Why hope to lie to me again?

No... hindi ako iiyak... hindi ako nasasaktan... wala akong kailangang marinig sa kanya...

Wala...

This Kiss by Faith Hill

I don't want another heartbreak
I don't need another turn to cry
I don't want to learn the hard way
Baby Hello , oh no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket
Shooting straight across the sky...
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this --
It's centrifugal motion
It's pertpetual bliss .
It's that pivotal moment
It's ahhh Impossible
This Kiss , This Kiss (Unstoppable )
This Kiss , This Kiss
Cinderella said to Snow White
How does love get so off course ?
All I wanted was a white knight
With a good heart , soft touch , fast horse .
Ride me off into the sunset
Baby , I'm forever yours
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this --
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss .
It's that pivotal moment
It's ahhh Unthinkable
This Kiss , This Kiss (Unsinkable )
This Kiss This Kiss
You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let's let every thing slide
You got me floating , You got me flying
It's the way you love me
It's a feeling like this --
It's centrifugal motion
It's perpetual bliss .
It's that pivotal moment
It's ahhh Subliminal
This Kiss , This Kiss (It's Criminal )
This Kiss , This Kiss


This has been a fave song from my DOF days pa... never really had the presence of mind to dedicate it to someone in the course of my tumultuous love life since then....

I wonder if I have made it hard for those who supposedly love me.. and those I love... all my siginificant others... to tell me the truth... especially ones that may hurt me...

Or...

is it true... that I do not command respect... and therefore, has no right and do not deserve... to be told the truth... ?

Friday - 8th of August - Today's Topic:

Are you satisfied on how your life is going now? Contented on how things are taking its place? Are the objectives set being accomplished as planned? Or you just simply don't have a plan and just live by the day?



I am happy with my life. Sure, I have a lot of things I can complain about, like handling a job I wasn't trained for, and wanting to work again as a counselor, or not yet in a relationship and grooming a partner for a lifetime of togetherness, or my friends I want to cry to are all busy with their own lives.

Still, I am happy with my life. There are down times (like, the past few days) but even during such sad, trying times, I get to realize over and over again who loves me. And that is a blessing.

Content? I like to believe there seldom is contentment in life... but i've had moments wherein I couldn't ask for more.

Am I where I intended to be at this certain time of my life? In a way, yes. I'm still not a single parent. I still haven't gotten beaten up or sexually abused by a man. I still haven't killed anybody. I still have a family I belong to. I have a job that pays well. I have avenues wherein I meet interesting people. My body is still lustfully ok. I still have not had any operation. Neither have I been committed in a hospital for emotional/psychological breakdown. I still haven't done anything that is really, really embarrassing and humiliating... or anything I will not be able to ever tell my future kids.

However, I don't really have any major plans right now. Getting married and building a family life before age 30 is something I have to compromise, I think, since there were some things I didn't do before that I have to do first... that is, rid myself of emotional baggage.

I live from day to day.... keeping my top priorities always in check... and looking forward to certain celebrations wherein I can express my love for loved ones.

Other than that, am always looking for the next time i'd get to dance. Or eat white chocolate.

*~*

That was my reply at www.mygimmick.com (see TALKBALK thread)

Felt like I should include it here.

NOTE TO SELF:

Even friends who love you, will and can... lie to you...

*~*

Slept for some 9 hours... and dreamt of 3 main things....

1) Being with my ex who was wooing me to get back together with him.

2) Chatting with Dimitr3 from MTC

3) Being naked with another woman... and said woman seducing me... and all I can think of while with her was... "My legs aren't that big naman pala" since the woman and I was of the same build.

YOU

have no idea

how much you hurt me.