5:31 PM Monday, September 01, 2003



My birthday is coming up. Yeah, it's not due for another month but still, it's coming up soon. And again, I'm battling with 'gift' issues again.

I'm real sorry, it's the only time of the year that I actually expect gifts from friends. Or letters/cards. I can't help it... supposedly I know a lot of people and am involved in a lot of other people's lives... but when my birthday comes along... everyone is just either too busy to come to my party (which, before, i'd even schedule according to THEIR schedules... good thing i've stopped that na) and everyone is just too broke to give me anything.

And then, i'd sometimes attend a party of someone else... and i'd see heaps and heaps of useless, expensive gifts and I think to myself... how come she's getting them when am nicer than her?

It's bad enough that often in my life din, even if I am in a relationship, my birthday would find me on a tentative break with the guy (thus, no birthday date/treat and gift).

Am I not worth stuffed toys? (Ok, in a sane mood, i'm not fond of them naman nga... also flowers).

But it's not really the gift per se... It's the fact that people take time to spend money on me... or save money for me... or exert extra effort for me.

And I really sometimes hate it that I'm easily taken for granted by the people I care about.

Then again, I must probably not that much of a friend really... since Ate Ene, who IS a good friend, used to get heaps and heaps of treats for her birthday... why, she didn't even need to spend anything and a party is always secured pa rin... and i've always said, it's because she's a great friend.

Ok fine, am no great friend. Sigh.


I'm cool with being one of the boys... but then it sometimes suck because I get inconvenienced along with them as they cater to feminine wiles and whims and tardiness and fickle minds...

The other thing that sucks is... I'd see them travel in the late hours of the night to fetch some girl... but absolutely refuse to say, offer me a ride home. It sucks when the same man who would not allow this female friend to walk some 5 minutes to Mega Mall will find nothing wrong with say, letting me walk over to some other place that was convenient for the other girl. It sucks when you bend over backwards to make sure you don't hurt their feelings... but will allow themselves to be used in all ways possible by some other damsel in seeming distress.

And dare you point out the highly-selective treatment? Of course not. And if you point it out to others, you run the risk of having them tell you that... hello, you're not pretty, so why should you get free dinner?


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