Birthday Wish

4:39 AM Sunday, October 03, 2010

"Thou that has given so much to me,
Give one thing more–a grateful heart;
Not thankful when it pleaseth me,
As if thy blessings had spare days;
But such a heart, whose pulse may be
Thy praise."

– George Herbert

I used to get depressed before for a month before my birthday, feeling like those who care about me won't particularly exert extra effort to make me feel just how special I am for them on my birthday. I guess it all stems from that belief I have that I was born to this world for a reason, for a purpose, and I needed to be validated that somehow, I was accomplishing that purpose... that I was making a difference in somebody else's life.

How narcissistic, yes :) And irrational, yes.

Now, there's still that girl in me. But at least I find I can let go of the 'disappointments' easier now. I really have no other wish today than to have the car fixed at a cost we can still afford, other than that, am okay. I mean, 33 years today and my family is still complete, plus I am building my own.

Nothing can beat that kind of blessing.

(Oh, I just remembered Py... so I guess it's wrong to say my family's complete. Still, my parents are still alive and both my siblings. But okay, I felt sad about Py. But I trust he is where he is supposed to be right now, as I am, as we are.)


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