5:45 PM Monday, August 08, 2005

Something is threatening to consume me with hate and all kinds of pain as of the moment. BUT... JRA has proved more than his weight in gold when it comes to making me feel better.

I just hope Pyro doesn't ask for cake tonight... the imp has taken such a liking to cake, he's made it his life's purpose to tail me and ask for some!

Then again, how many times has cake or ice cream saved my sanity from suffering a thorough meltdown?


It's so hard having poor relatives... esply if part of the reason they're poor is because they did not maximixe the opprotunities given to sponsored education.

And the hardworking, responsible ones get saddled with the task of cleaning up after their mess, shelling out savings, paying for their medical bills, taking them in, etc.

And one could not help but lament the unfairness of it all... being called selfish and unhelpful the moment you refuse to give help/cannot give assistance. That, after many times of having quietly extended a helping hand... with nary a Thanks or reference to previous debts owed you and kind deeds you've made.


I wonder how many parents play favorites.

And I wonder how many parents have as warped an idea of teaching a child to survive as my Mom (with regards to my brother) and my aunt (with regards to my cousin), both of whom seem to act as if they only have one child... everything else is token affection.

Maybe am being harsh. It might kill my mother too if something bad happens to me. But maybe that's it... maybe because I haven't been a jerk enough to have bad things happen to me that's why it also hasn't occurred to her to be nicer to me. Or to just be nice equally among her kids.

I wonder too, if not running after her as kids are wont to do when they first start attending school, made her believe I needed less emotionally from her.

My boss says, you usually have a favorite. She has 4 kids. She also said, parents shouldn't make it known who's the favorite... and speaking with only a child's perspective... I cannot quite fully verbalize the gravity of pain and resentment I feel that a person who has done more harm than good continue to be the favored child.

There's just something wrong about not giving the rewards where it's due.

And something more wrong about enabling a child to grow into a spineless adult, capable only of withdrawing from his wife and mother's bank accounts without knowing how to handle expenses, or hold a job of his own.

Basta, there's something drastically wrong there...

Image hosted by Me, after my hair cut. I think the electric fan made my face look a little interesting... I couldn't quite effect THE RING thing, and I was particularly happy when I took this... so there!

I love yellow :)


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