another post about an ex

8:49 AM Tuesday, April 10, 2007

"Hi! I'm here at my parents' house sorting out my personal stuff coz some of them were eaten by termites. Good thing the box filled with our memorabilias weren't damaged. Just finished rereading some of your letters. I just want to say thank you for being part of my life and for the love we shared then."

I got this text message from an ex (one I used to refer to as GLD, but he's not that anymore) last Saturday. He's the same guy who lost a sister recently.

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of all the things he must have unearthed for that period in his life where I was included. After all, we both loved writing letters. We both loved giving cards and gifts. Heck, once I even had a sister's friend draw (using oil pastel) a sunset scenery of a beach and lovers walking hand in hand. Sigh. The energy I used to put in mushy-ness.

Can't say I regret it though. I actually miss being that thoughtful, resourceful and creative.

And I have to admit to something now. Most of the things that ex gave me are all properly kept too. They're in a bag that still hangs on a wall in my old bedroom. And I can't say the same about all the things my hubs' gave me, lalo na before. I even had to turn my bedroom upside down, looking for all of my hubs' letters to me (all 7 of them, in a span of almost 6 years) before getting married. There was another guy I was in love with before whose letters (and drawings) to me were also kept well, so one can just imagine the guilt I was feeling over not having cherished more the letters the man I was going to marry gave me. But then again, hubs' Mom had to also save all my letters from hubs' junk. And he was not much of a letter-writer... eventhough he had his moments of extreme mush.

Some people are letter-writers... some are just not. So i've forgiven myself for my lapses.

And in the end, though the love letters of past loves cannot help but bring a smile to my face again (heck, even the ones written by neighborhood boys in notebook paper)... and warmth in my heart... or maybe even some tinge of sadness and wondering... it's nice to know that love letters aren't the only other testaments to a great love.

Think instead of a wedding ring. Or something more intangible... like commitment. :)


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