sexually unsatisfied...

10:10 AM Thursday, September 27, 2007

A guy friend and I were chatting yesterday... and he told me about still feeling 'the urge' to sleep around despite really being in love with his girlfriend.

(Might I add that a lot of my labskis are this comfy with me... am usually the only one they can ever turn to with such stories and secrets.)

I asked him if he's ever really surrendered to sex/making love... enough that the world literally shakes for him, or crumbles for him. If he's ever felt sated enough that, for a brief moment, he can say he need never have sex again... or need not seek sexual satisfaction again for days... or a long time.

If a woman has ever surrendered herself to him in the same way.

All he could think of to tell me is that he's scared of surrendering because he doesn't want to prematurely ejaculate... w/c is entirely missing MY point.

Surrendering to the pleasures and magic of sex has less to do with the actual orgasm and more to do with psychic release... that unexplainable feeling of totally existing and totally being in limbo (separate from this world and its realities and limitations).

That's the thing... you haven't really enjoyed sex when you haven't surrendered yourself to sex like that. I think this unconsciously explains why some people are enticed to be unfaithful... not really because they're not with their sexual soulmates... not really because they're exactly unsatisfied with their partners... but because they miss something they couldn't quite well grasp, a thing that we're hardwired to seek.

And men may be more likely to sleep around because, as much as they enjoy the game of hunting and gathering, few of them actually allow themselves to be THAT involved in the act.... to actually LOSE ONESELF in it.


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