MEComposing

When he goes over his Bible book and sees this picture of an angel... he starts chanting... Ha-luyah, ha-luyah.

He calls JRA Ni-nong, Dodo

He greets my cousin Tin... Tita Ek Ek? (Tin's bf is named Eric)

He hums, sings that "Shine, shine... shampoo commercial with a jingle sang by Regine.

He now has a concept of moo-moo and ipis, things he's scared of.

He says Bok-bok and immediately puts out his tongue and starts panting. (Bokbok is my Dad's dog)

He calls our neighbor Andy, Dugong

He now claims ownership... Aken!!!

He now can support himself by saying Engeeee... or pabi-le

When he passes by any of Jollibee's pictures, no matter how small, he goes Ja-bi. And when he sees this yellow arch, he says, Mak-Do.

He can identify fish... and prefers paksiw na tulingan. He says hus for horses, and calls carabaos kaw-bao.

All hotdog-shaped pillows are unan.

He even has this song with words going like, ang buhay, pabili, sabi, sabi, pabili.

He already reports kagat... even lies about it now, when he's asking for attention...

And i've forgotten all the other words that he's been saying and attached meanings to.

And he's just really so darn talkative now... and you can see from his expression how absorbed he is when making kwento to you...

We can even ask him to throw garbage now... and we can ask him to share food... and finally, he's easier to coax into drinking milk now...

And he still generally sleeps thru the night...

Sniff, and he's really fast growing up now, I can't stop myself from hugging him tight sometimes...

(and of course, to say that his verbal capacity is way above than what can be normally expected from a one-year and eight-month old child will be very much an understatement... and yes, am one proud AUNT)

*~*

I shall miss my students.

I finally found your IDs, the ones you gave me when we were first going out, almost 5 years ago...

100 lbs. and up to 11 years ago, you look really cute. You're still cute and very beautiful now... for there is that chinky-eyed, mischievous grin still, and your face has stayed the same...

The one I was destined to love.

I just hope... we can start really communicating though.

I just hope, you'd be the last person to even think bad things about me... or the last person to make me feel this way.

Some 20 years ago, a phone call during supper heralded the bad news that my Mother was hit by some car.

Some 15 years before pagers and cell phones, we didn't know where and how to contact her... all we could do was wait... worry... and pray.

And then, after two hours or so... who really knows for how long, time either stood still or we all were placed in a vacuum where it doesn't exist... knocks on our door announced the fact that my Mom was somewhere near our then BLISS apartment in Taguig... actually, she was sprawled in the sidewalk, near the waiting shed for jeepneys...

I was still very much a child... my older cousins living with us, teenagers... We all rushed to where Mom was and I didn't know what to make of the situation... the sight of her lying on the sidewalk, supported by all these strangers... blood all over her legs...

Again, I was still very much a child then. My cousin, with the help of the strangers, brought my Mom to the house.

Weird that I can't remember her being brought to the doctor... or being confined.

I also don't remember her bedridden for days... or hobbling about with a cane...

I'm wondering now if my memory blocked those days... although I highly doubt it.

Weirder still that my Mom was supposedly hit somewhere in Cubao, and yet she managed to come home to us in Bicutan, unable to walk as she was that night.

*~*

This is the memory that forever haunts me whenever I see really old men and women travelling on their own.

Offering an arm to help them board jeepneys, or to sit, or to fill up an information form... I do very much automatically...

Mornings would often find me with someone old in the same jeep am riding... bound for PGH for check-ups or whatever... Sometimes, accompanied by their child, or their granchild, or a younger sibling, or their spouse. Sometimes not.

And in the times when they're alone, I can't help but wonder where their progeny are...

And I can't help but utter a silent wish that I hope, when my parents grow old and start going about all crooked and wrinkled... alone... some strangers would take it upon themselves to be kind... and offer them a hand.

*~*

It may be self-serving that I actually go out of my way to be kind to old people, as a karmic investment for others to be kind to my folks. Not that we shouldn't be kind to people in general...

It's just sad how, from what i've observed, kind strangers are becoming an endangered species... and I fear for my parents because despite their imperfections, they really haven't done anything to deserve rudeness from strangers.

Everybody now seems just too preoccupied with their deadlines and worries and concerns... most people are just masungit...

Last week saw me consume 800 gms of white chocolates and 200 gms of walnuts. In just 4 days. Actually, make that 4 different sittings. Usually at night. And with already great self-control.

And I want more.

I'm going broke.

I'm going crazy.

All I think about is eating these two. All I want to be is half-lying on my bed, reading magazines while eating them with both hands.

I've already mastered the art of holding a walnut in a finger, and holding a WC in the other, and still being able to turn the pages of a book, without spoiling the book or mag.

My heart beats faster with the knowledge that i'd be in a mall... because then, i'd know that Tobi's House of Nuts is just around the corner... and Watson's or the grocery would have the Swiss Delice 400-gm block that I love (actually, i love Cadbury Dream better but it's already P160.00 at only 240 gms).

I almost cried when I mustered every self-discipline I have not to buy them last Saturday, esply since i've just withdawn money from the ATM.

I am so restless. And purposeless.

I'm looking forward to nothing else except the chance when i'd get to buy them and enjoy them again. (chances are, that would be tomorrow)

I honestly quiver with anticipation... and licking at the chocolate the first time (for that night) would send shivers of delight up and down my spine, making my skin tingle, making me sigh and moan with pleasure, making me feel horny and sated at the same time...

Help.

Send WC and walnuts my way.

Sniff...

*~*

Commercial... announcing my Blogkada.

When asked, married people can never really give sane, logical reasons for getting married, aside from a certain degree of tax reprieve. Or money, if you’re that mercenary and insecure.

Love?

A lot of people know enough that love fades and is sometimes lost. Of course, I can always argue the matter of will and choices etc. but that would be beside the point.

Having someone to grow old with?
Having someone to raise children with?
Being assured of everyday sex?

Every reason can be subject to debate. And yet, people marry anyway. Some couples do grow up together in love, happy that someone was a witness to their life, and privileged for being the witness to someone else’s. Some couples start out roughly but their unions prevail anyway. Some unions last even when the passion is gone, and none are the worse for it.

Some, on the other hand, start and end with just promises and dreams.

Some marriages have already ended before it even began. Some marriages last for decades only to end after the kids have grown up.

Separations and betrayal have become the “norm”. Sometimes, I even feel that it’s more supported and upheld by the society, than marriage. There is nothing wrong in empowering women to say, leave abusive husbands and lead decent, fear-free lives. But I sometimes can’t help but get the feeling that everybody is just being empowered to walk away when the marriage is no longer a ‘happy’ one… when it’s no longer convenient, stimulating, etc.

Growing up, I’ve always been scared that my parents would separate… they didn’t know the value of reassuring their kids in times when they’re quarrelling. And I’ve always vowed to forever hate them if they make me a ‘victim’ of a broken family. And I’ve always been grateful that despite their ups and downs, their marriage is still a work in progress.

Are they happy? Sometimes.

But I know they love each other and love us, their kids.

And like what I’ve posted here before… they’re due to migrate to the US this March. And I’ve been getting scared that they might not be around to:

~ help in my wedding plans
~ give me away on my wedding day
~ be around when am pregnant with my first child
~ be there with my husband to hold my hand when am giving birth for the first time, or every time
~ be there while my kids grow up

Of course, mortality may claim one or both of them anytime soon. But those things I mentioned, I’ve always wanted to experience. What can I say, am big on families. And thinking of the possibility that they may not be around fills me with sadness and anger sometimes… feeling that they owe me that...

And then, I get reminded today that I would rather have my parents miss my wedding day… than have them there knowing that they’re separated. I’d rather have them together in the US than have them bickering over me while I’m still dopey from the birthing drugs.

I’d rather have them sleeping together every night… or maybe apart, safe in the knowledge that love has seen them through really tough times.

I’d rather have them go through bad times together, and still find love… rather than have good times apart.

*~*

Please, pray for my friend, whose parents are on the verge of breaking up.

I would just like to share this poem of sorts that someone sent me... which heralded the happy weekend I had... (and yes, i didn't have enough time to dwell if he really wanted my nude pics or not)

may i take this time
to share with you this rhyme
for the purpose of leaving you flattered
and of forgetting this week that left us battered

and of course to make you see
that i desire nude photos of thee
(hopefully, with a glee,
you'd be mailing them to me)

though your thoughts i can never read
do know that if there's anything you need
there are always people around you
who loves and cares for you even more than i do
go find them if you must
(by the way, i love your bust)


*~*

A quick word though...

Blogs are basically or usually online journals, yes.

We post personal thoughts and experiences. That is partly why we are expected to state our sources or link properly if the thoughts aren't ours. That is also why we expect the same courtesy from others, when one or a few of what we posted will be used in other blogs.

But our blogs are not our totality. We choose what we post. Sometimes, we just post things for kicks.

And just because you read someone's blog all the time shouldn't mean you'd already think you know that person enough to overstep certain boundaries. That person will only take really personal comments from you if: 1) the friendship is mutual (as facilitated by meetings, phone conversations, e-mails, etc), 2) the comment was respectfully made and properly worded.

Please guys... observe proper courtesy.

(this, in reaction to some recent comments made in Batjay's blog)

*~*

Oh happiness... everyone, please congratulate my blogfriend as she and hubby join the ranks of insecure, filled-with-worry-and-hope, loving, crazy people out there who we usually refer to as parents...

And prayers too, for those with ailing loved ones... and friends who have just undergone surgery or check-ups... like Ting.

Tadeu to si Ergoe eh... I automatically delete chain e-mails and texts nga eh... We're really not friends talaga, I don't like this sh!T :D

But since i love you and your softness... fine!!!!


Random 10 Songs:

Special Memory - The Company
Ice, Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
That's the Way It is - Celine Dion
Photograph - Ariel Rivera
I Only Want to be with you - Vonda Shepard
Never Say Goodbye - Nonoy ba or Basil?
You changed My Life (in a moment) - The Company
I hope you Dance - forgot the artist
If Ever You're In My Arms Again - Peabo Bryson (?)
Huling El Bimbo - Eraserheads


What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

I believe, around 500 MP3s... those I haven't saved in my PC are still in their CDs

The last CD you bought?

err... I think, a Sexbomb CD last December, the one I sent to my aunt in the US :D

Five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:

Special Memory - The Company
That's the Way It is - Celine Dion
I Only Want to be with you - Vonda Shepard
You changed My Life (in a moment) - The Company
The Reason - Hoobastank

Who are you going to pass this stick to?
(1) Donna - because she's in love and might be mushy, sappy, senti and all kinds of romantic
(2) Jet - because she's sad and far away from her hubs, and might never even get to see I tagged her
(3) Margret - because I miss her

*~*

My sister just related this story to me last night...

Last Ash Wednesday, she of course went home with the proverbial cross stain on her forehead. And of course, when Pyro is about, she goes to hug and play with Py first... like everybody else.

She was asking for kisses and sniffing his baby smell... when Pyro kept tugging at her hanky while whimpering.

Without a thought, she handed her hanky to Pyro...

Pyro then proceeded to wipe her forehead.

shucks... naiiyak ako, he's fast growing up...

*~*

Nice site I learned about from Watson and Fionski.