open letter to my male bestfriend

8:58 AM Monday, October 17, 2005

know what
i know we're just friends
and i know am more unavailable right now because i am getting married
and i know you're going thru a lot because you've recently been heartbroken
and i know you have other things that keep you busy
and i know that nothing i can do can really cheer you up
or make you feel better
and i know am not the one you want nor need
and i know you mostly keep quiet about things that hurt or bother you

but knowing all those things still don't stop me from getting hurt or upset
when i don't hear from you
i think i've really, really grown attached to our routine....
the usual reminders to eat or sleep
the assured companionship
and i guess it doesn't help
that although i've mostly been in love with other guys
you're the one who have been a constant fixture in my life
so yes, you were the man in my life
and i've grown accustomed to being the girl in yours
so even in the times that am the one preoccupied with other things
i miss the usual treatment from you
yes, how unfair and irrational

and i guess this is something i shouldn't resist
the changes in our friendship
and i guess it's always hard saying goodbye
even if it's not really a goodbye

anyway, i just really hope you grow to be more actively passionate
for those you care about
same way that i hope our friendship will continue to blossom
and afford us a harbor
in times that we'd need one
and you shall forever remain very important and precious to me
same way that i believe i am to you

and wouldn't it be nice if our kids ended up as friends too?


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