MEComposing

I am unhappy.

And struggling with a cranky son.

And poor (post-Boracay and self-imposed poverty).

And I cannot sleep (maybe because am depressed).

And sh!t just hit the fan with my first ever Ebay transaction... the box was delivered sans books! Dang seller, Ebay, USPS and the month of August. I only wish I can get a refund.

And I think I hurt a little cousin's feelings.

Really not my month.

I keep trying to look for reasons... where I can direct the blame. This is really the worst kind of sadness, the kind when you don't know for sure what's keeping you down. You're just down.

You're aware of your blessings. You're aware of how far you've come. But still, you're down. You lack purpose. You lack meaning. You're down.

And I hate jumping down people's throats for the littlest of things. I think it's also why my son is antsy these days... he can feel Mommy is terribly unhappy.

Got this text message from this number:

"ito bago ko roaming number, nagpadala ako package jan may kanya na pangalan dun my celfon kau dun, loadan u ako 115 para makatawag ako jan..sige wait ko load ngayon. ingat kayo"

I remember, maybe two months ago... I received a similar text. It just so happened that we were really expecting a package from my parents then and I read the text after waking up so I really thought it was from my Dad. But then I wondered why he didn't endthe message in his usual way so I verified and texted his old number.

Anyway, I wonder just how many are scammed by these people. And I hope they burn in hell. I'd suggest you guys post these in adult message boards and the like so they'd be peppered by texts and calls from perverts, but we know perverts send load and that's the last thing I want to happen.

And I don't know if this is a Globe or Smart number. And even if I can report it, they can easily change sims.

I asked my sister to help me look for the Little House books and buy them for me... but I also asked her for her address so I can just buy them myself through Ebay.

I won the Ebay bid right? 17 books.

And I was bidding on Ebay while chatting with my sis. And talking to her. I was telling her about it. And I told her now they don't have to buy the books anymore (because i've bought them already) and that they need to wait for my books and find space for it in the door-to-door boxes they were preparing.

I told her that!

But today I woke up to see a text message from my sister telling me they bought me four Little House books! Grrr.

What a waste of resources. I just hope my sister takes the books they bought back and also get their money back! Grrr.

*~*

Am hopping mad because am not having a good week and every little thing sets me off.

Technically, I have already transacted on Ebay when I bought a used Amelia Bedelia book for P50 a year or so ago. But that was cash on pick up and local.

But this week, I really made a purchase online. I had to make sure that the seller will ship to my sister instead (because two door to door boxes were being prepared for us by our Mom). 17 Little House Books for only $11.80 (including shipping!). I actually have the "By The Shores of Silver Lake" book, bought it for P70 in Booksale. But really, this is a steal! And I don't care about them being previously owned either.

I love stories about pilgrims and covered wagons and log cabins and prairie life. I grew up reading donated textbooks from the States from the libraries of Concordia and PCS and always, I have been mesmerized. I would always imagine time machines that would bring me to that time, and I used to fantasize what goodies I would bring with me (think instant noodles and corned beef). I pondered over how log cabins were built, and how they baked in their ovens, and making my own wax candles (you know, holding a string in your hand and dipping it in and out of hot wax till you get a candle, and then collecting all the wax again for future candles).

I wondered how covered wagons could contain everything a family owned.

I was actually a college grad when I took up the hobby of buying American textbooks from Booksale. It was a delightful surprise, realizing where I got to read all those stories I used to enjoy before. I think I have ten of them at least, some i've already given away to nieces. And it was there that I 'met' Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family.

So I really can't wait to finally read the series from start to finish. It would be a really great birthday gift to myself!

I was lucky enough to win one of the consolation prizes at the Nuffnang-Goldilocks "You're the 1" Blog Contest. The awarding happened last August 07 and the prize supposedly is P2,500 worth of Goldilocks gift certificates.

Well, I didn't get the GCs at the event because they either misplaced it at the event, or someone stole it, or they really left it at the office. The Goldilocks people told us they'd just coordinate with Nuffnang so they can send the GCs to us.

One of the Nuffnang folks was kind enough to give away calling cards where we can e-mail our contact details to. Of course, Goldilocks should have already taken our details then and there but since they just finished an event, I was gracious enough to let them breathe and wrap things up.

So I e-mailed my contact details to Nuffnang and told them the closest Goldilocks branches to where I live. August 13, I followed up with Nuffnang, confused why nobody from Goldilocks have contacted me yet. I was told that they have made follow ups already but it's really beyond their control because Goldilocks hasn't replied to them either. They said they will follow up again.

It's now August 18. I have already also e-mailed the Goldilocks' customer care but there's still no reply. I have expressed my disappointment as well at being the one doing the follow up (it's like am begging for my prize, something I fairly won naman).

I'm now torn between doing more follow ups or not. Since they chose my entry as winner for the consolation prize, I therefore feel that I am entitled to the prize. After all, in their eyes as in mine, I wrote a good blog entry. But I really don't like the feeling that am begging for something, even if am technically not. And it's such a hassle wondering who I should appeal to next.

Plus, it's not like I want or need the GCs ASAP (though my birthday is coming up). But a call from Goldilocks explaining the delay would really be appreciated.

----

edit: they finally called yesterday afternoon with an apology. said i'd get the GCs by Thursday. (aug. 19)

edit: they didn't call at all today (aug. 20) and no word till now (aug. 24)

First of all, my birthday is still around two months away. But I am really sort of depressed, restless, sad and feeling pointless.

And I hate it when some opportunities come knocking because i'm the first to shoot myself down. Some people, when they see an opportunity, go for it, wing it, and learn on the job. Then again, how am I supposed to want to keep something if I don't even know if I want it in the first place?

I keep telling myself, I need a new project in my life. But if you actually consider the facts, a demanding and hyper little boy should be project enough, aside from my involvement in breastfeeding and volunteer counseling again. But still, I am restless and feeling useless and worthless. Still, I am seeking something.

I don't know what it is I want to do to feel that I am contributing to the world. And dang it, I am so scared of trying and failing. I'm stuck. Stuck. And I don't even know why.

This is a major misprint/typo/Freudian slip/death wish made by Manila Bulletin today (they say, check the back page). It's sure going to be a collector's item indeed and am sorta envious that a friend of mine got a copy :D


TV caption naman!

May the Filipinos, as a nation, stop wasting the chance to be better... and may we finally realize the dreams you and your beloved Ninoy dreamt for us. Rest in peace, and indeed, adore you or not, you have fought the good fight.

Image source

I have at least twelve godchildren already, ranging from age 17 to this newborn. Most of them are firstborns as well :) For most of them, I felt privileged for being asked and most of them are kids of people that are still very much in my life.

Hopefully, they all will grow up strong and good.

...I decided to help my friend's client and make guest sheets for a birthday party.

It made me realize yet again how I do everything half-baked. I learned Photoshop and had a great digicam before one of my friends did but she's now earning from her digiscraps and her pictures are really nice. Me, I contented myself with the basics when I could have been better.

But still, I believe I was able to make one mother happy :)

I decided to put some allowance for the binding but am not sure I did it right. Ahehe. And I realized that I love yellow too much :D

These are some type of snail or something. Basically, they're organisms that attach themselves to driftwood. Shot these while we were in Boracay about two weeks ago.

How is this entertainment? Well, it is, or rather, they are! For a toddler, that is. I was happy just to document them but my 21-month old loved pulling them off. Yes, cruel really, and I did stop my son everytime I can but there were just so many driftwood with these on the beach... but he is a toddler just discovering his world. Self-serving it may be but I just consoled myself that God must have made these to delight kids as well. One God's creature to another.

Like what I Plurked, I am sad and bothered that I don't feel sadness or a sense of loss with Cory Aquino's passing. I'm not happy about it, and yes, I did expect it somehow considering her age and how Kris Aquino has been acting (one could see they've been told it's just really a matter of time)... but really, I feel I should have a greater sense of loss. After all, she featured in our history in a big way. She was a rallying point when we were lost.

Maybe it's because i've been generally ambivalent about politics anyway. And admittedly, i've never felt she was my hero, my leader.

Still, my condolences to the Aquinos and Cojuangcos. And to the grieving Filipino people.