MEComposing

By Corazon C. Aquino
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 03:41:00 07/10/2009

Almighty God, most merciful Father
You alone know the time
You alone know the hour
You alone know the moment
When I shall breathe my last.

So, remind me each day,
most loving Father
To be the best that I can be.
To be humble, to be kind,
To be patient, to be true.
To embrace what is good,
To reject what is evil,
To adore only You.

When the final moment does come
Let not my loved ones grieve for long.
Let them comfort each other
And let them know
how much happiness
They brought into my life.
Let them pray for me,
As I will continue to pray for them,
Hoping that they will always pray
for each other.

Let them know that they made possible
Whatever good I offered to our world.
And let them realize that our separation
Is just for a short while
As we prepare for our reunion in eternity.

Our Father in heaven,
You alone are my hope.
You alone are my salvation.
Thank you for your unconditional love, Amen.

I am hoping my time is not anytime soon. And I really hope that whenever it comes, people I leave behind will know I loved, and therefore lived.

In the meantime, I am one with the world as we all celebrate the lives of those who have left us behind.

There was this man, a typical man, one who felt that just because he was earning well, he had a right to infidelity. That he's a jerk is no secret and this post isn't about him.

And there was this woman, married to an OFW who was impotent, and she wanted badly a child of her own, and was very much lonely all alone in the big house that her OFW husband leaves her behind in.

Maybe she fell in with the wrong crowd. Maybe she was really bad inside. Maybe it was quarter-life crisis. I don't know.

But she hooked up with the married man in the beginning of this post. This after knowing that her friend is the guy's mistress already. This despite knowing that the man's wife is bedridden with cancer.

Anyway, the cancer-ridden wife died. And the OFW husband left his stupid wife and found him a good woman to adopt a child with. And soon enough, rich jerk guy and ex-OFW wife lived together. They had a son.

Five years after, I find out that rich jerk guy has left ex-OFW wife and has a two-year old with someone else. And though it's really sad, how many women are ruining their children's lives by allowing themselves to get pregnant by this rich jerk guy, I also can't help but feel that ex-OFW wife deserved what she got. It certainly serves her right for getting it on with a married man.

Meanhwile, I simply cannot wait for what karma has in store for the rich jerk guy. Hopefully, karma will just punish him and spare his progeny.

I made sure to post the picture big enough to highlight just how THIN I WAS. And yes, though the stress is on the word WAS, at least I was thin.

And no, I have no hope of ever being this thin again. And I don't even DREAM of being as thin again. I just don't think it's natural for me anymore... I have made peace with my hips and my bulk. It's actually funny, because I used to rage against the bulk, having been reed thin for the first 23 years of my life. But now, am at home with this body. I have even made peace with the boobs. And the important thing is that I still have a mighty proud bum to give me some sort of shape. Hehe.

I know am overweight. I know I should help myself and love myself enough to lose the excess weight. But still, it feels good to be able to celebrate my body in its different forms and sizes and shapes.

First of all, I still haven't finished Gossip Girl's last season so I haven't started on the current one.

And though am curious about Glee, I really cannot find time for more TV programs in my life.

I am however glad that Heroes has gotten real interesting again. I still love Hiro and Ando to pieces! And am still loving Grey's, even adjusting to George not being there anymore. I believe Burke is going back, which should prove interesting... and my favorite doctor there now is the lesbian pediatrician. Weirdly enough, I don't know her name, hehe.

Ever since hubby got me into NCIS, i've really been a fan. So am glad that it's still as great as ever... and that NCIS Los Angeles' episodes are getting better and better. Can't wait for more info on G. Callen.

And of course, CSI is still wonderful (though Katherine's face seems to be melting). They really did a great job in replacing Grissom's character with Laurence Fishburne. He is just amazing!!!

And it's not that I have a lot of time to watch these shows... I used to have the luxury of just sitting down in front of the tube but son is more demanding now and I really have to attend to him all my waking hours.

Oh and am so glad that The Amazing Race has challenging tasks again... it was getting ho-hum already before. It's just so bad though that Zev lost his passport because I liked him. Now am rooting for the gay brothers and the father and son teams :)

Last Friday, while riding a jeepney from Dapitan, a cop car caught our driver's attention from the side. They signalled for the driver to stop so the driver had no choice but to to stop and come to them. The supposed crime? Letting passengers board in the middle of the road.

The passengers who went on exclaimed that that they did not board the jeep in the middle of the road. Other passengers said the same. Anyway, the cops let go of the driver after getting the P40 he was holding in his hand (because he was in the process of giving change to passengers). I couldn't see the plate number of the cop car but I would have loved to report them. And I didn't get my P10 change anymore.

*~*

While at perpetual Help College in Manila, arranging for my sister's records to be sent to her in the U.S., tow things couldn't help but get me nitpicking about grammar again:

1) On an ID strap: It takes A LOT of BRAIN to be a nurse.

2) On glass windows at the Accounting Dept: If you have any COMPLAINS about your account, contact so and so.

*~*

I am stress eating over Pepeng. I had two breakfasts at Jollibee yesterday.

I have never underestimated the elements. It's one of the few things I have always respected. And during my short stint as a mountaineer, we were taught to really respect that its a power we may be able to prepare for but never control or conquer.

I have recently been more active in volunteering and helping with Ondoy victims. But I literally go cold all over when I contemplate the plight of the entire North, where waters were as high and landslides have already buried people because of Pepeng. What else can I give? How can I help them? How will help get to them?

Ondoy victims are far luckier than they because since they're from Mega Manila, help from the can afford can reach them more easily (not that it's a competition). But far flung areas like barrio schools which you can only probably reach by helicopter (given the landslides going to Baguio/Benguet) would have to wait for a while longer. And they'd be colder there. Ondoy destroyed more possessions here in Manila but Pepeng killed more up North, and compromised our food supply. The entire country's food supply.

I do not want to lose hope for our country. I want to believe that we will rebuild. Meanwhile, I hope to see the same rabid call for donations and volunteers to help flood victims up North.

And since other countries have been struck as badly, we really cannot depend that much on foreign aid. We have to help ourselves a lot if we're to see our country through this.

I have recently reconnected with a college pal, whose eldest child is my godson. The last time I saw him was at his christening some 3 years ago. He inherited his mother's seizure disorder so I have always worried about him.

Well, now at least I have news. After going through the alphabet of medications he can take, they finally found something he totally reponds to. What's more, he need only take that medicine instead of having to take four others. So now, he's started standing up. Finally, the neurons breaking have stopped and the seizures are few and far between. Finally, he is making headway in his psychomotor development. Maybe his language development will also happen in the next year or two, and it's okay if he's delayed so long as he gets there. His Mom tells me she gets teary just watching her eldest stand up, I couldn't tell her that I teared up as well when she was telling me.

I can't wait to see him again. And at least I know there is hope for him yet.

Hopefully, his condition really brings the compassionate nature of his younger sister out... and that Yasmin helps Kuya Xam every way she can, since she's more advanced developmentally.

Well, actually, am not.

It's just updating 4-5 blogs can be a b!tch. Plus, everybody has been preoccupied with Ondoy, its tragedy, the aftermath.

Anyway, I was traumatized by Ondoy. In a way, it's rather embarassing because it's not like we had flash floods here at home, or that we lost stuff to the typhoon. But still, something about living all your life somewhere and then having that house violated (natural disaster or not) that shocks you to the core. Now, every bit of rain makes my heart skip a beat.

My birthday last Saturday was rather uneventful. I was sleeping for most of the day! But the cake in the night proved very rewarding, and our family date the next day made up for the lack of celebration.

I was gifted with running shoes and I have yet to use it. Yikes.

And I may just have tipped beyond 150 lbs. already. Double yikes.

I've even started wearing hubby's clothes. Triple yikes.

But my birthday gifts to myself proved rewarding. I finally went out there and donated and volunteered again. IIt really cannot help but pick you up when you help less fortunate fellows... and I am grateful for the opportunity.

What's more, I have managed to reconnect with college friends. Hopefuly, I meet them and their brood soon.

I feel anchored again to something wonderful and it's great. And I don't mind being 32 already. I'm really very happy with my life and the love in it that I have. So God, I am grateful.