MEComposing

You know how some girls are called BAKLA because they can follow swardspeak and are generally as boisterous as noisy gay guys?

Well, am not like that.

Never been like that.

The most I can be is as sexually-preoccupied as gay guys, I think. But i've had one or two gay friends growing up. Kuya Raul had the noisiest laugh at FAD and the last time I saw him was at my wedding. Jerry is a college friend (seeing as we started with only two boy classmates). I never ran around with them though, mainly because I never worked with any.

Fast forward to now. I met two at my FSL classes and I'm now hanging out with them with their friends and boyfriends. And this morning, I was telling Drith that I was going to go drink and he told me that I am turning gay. Haha. Needs improvement though. Maybe it was all the mistakes we were making at the class that turned out to be 'suggestive' signs.

It sucks though that half the time, I look like their Mom... and that they're better groomed and dressed :D

A former neighbor and playmate who moved away from the neighborhood recently found me on Facebook and was asking me to share pics of me in college and when I was still single.... to fill the years in. We even ask each other if our teeth are still complete, what things we liked doing in college, when we first fell in love, etc.

It was really nice talking.

But that was a time before digital files and I realized that as much as I had sooo many pictures taken before, because I still liked to pose then, I seldom posted pictures on my blog.

And I really have to start scanning my older pics, even if I do have the negatives for them :)

Now, I have half the mind to compile old pics and post them on FB... to remind myself that I was really fun and slim once... and to show others, should they check my profile, that I was fun and slim once. Haha.

Then again, am not sure how hubby's relatives would take to seeing lots of pics of me with my cleavage proud. Ahehe.

It's not that I'm complaining. Being described as a super mom is more than validation of how much I have grown up. So although being a mother is actually a struggle every day, I can't help but feel good about being perceived as a Mom :)

But still, I miss that sexy, naughty, sensual, fun descriptions attributed to me before. And I want to be called a HOT MOMMA instead of just a mom. Tsk.

Maybe I should start by posting more about nudity here, even if it's just news involving nudity. Hehe.

Then again, my relatives, hubs' relatives and friends have started reading my blogs. Am not quite keen on the idea of hubs' cousins reading about sexual fantasies and what-not. Haha. And am too lazy to make a separate and secret blog. That's too much work when am supposed to be living a congruent life.

Still, I am giving a talk on parent-child relationship next week. And now, I can give such a talk as an authority of sorts. Oh, why do Ieven bother resisting the Mom perception. Who knows, if I keep evolving right, I could be the next Mother Theresa... hahaha.

This photoslide is my official relaunch entry at Blogkadahan. After a year or so of being busy, we finally ran out of excuses not to come together again for inspired writing.

Like I said in my FB... we were original once, we will be very much so again. We have been fortified by another year of experience filled with triumphs and tribulations, of doubts and moments of faith, of grace under fire.

We still have stories to tell. So won't you listen?

Last Wednesday, I attended a blogger event at Fish & Co. with Giselle Sanchez as part of her promotion of Enduranz capsules.

It was really fun because Giselle was as crazy and comic as she is onscreen but wasn't acting like a diva. Topics that night ranged from their actual trying-to-conceive journey to her delivery story (she'd make jokes about her keps being sooo big that's why it only took Zappa over a minute to come out), to blogs and blogging. We also touched on movies and actors (I found out both Kuya Bodjie and Ate Sienna of Batibot fame smoke, hehe), anthroposophy, supposed organized orgies arranged in message boards, and the stigma of trying to conceive. Marcelle (from Nuffnang) even gave a demo of his mentalism (?) act by bending a fork.

We also talked about what we blog about, of living healthy, and mommy blogs as well as radio personalities.

Giselle Sanchez and her hubs, Emil Buencamino


I didn't mean to catch Giselle with swimming sperm in the background!


Marcelle doing his stuff


I got to take the fork home as souvenir 'coz I
was sitting beside Marcelle



Of course there were a lot of Enduranz stories as Benson shared with us some of the testimonials he's heard, and we also discussed the stigma of guys getting help about their swimmers and that kind of thing. Giselle was also upfront that, though they were paid by Enduranz, they really believe their second baby was an Enduranz baby and swear by the product. She even went on to say that it's become a sort of advocacy for them, getting other men to try Enduranz to boost their testosterone production. She also shared that she's even met a grandma who was taking it. She told the grandma that it's for men but the grandma said she's not stopping from taking it because she felt stronger ever since she took it.

All in all though, I really had fun at this event because it was just like a cozy meeting of intellectuals. Everybody was spontaneous and open... we even talked about their foundations and foundation plans as well as other ways to promote Enduranz (because a lot of people think it's like Viagra, or that it's a condom, hehe).

1) I don't really like to. I have this weird issue about making people part with their money. It's not like am conning them actually but I just really feel weird about that.

2) I lack confidence. Even say, Avon products which are safe, cheap products, I don't think I can sell because I'm sort of scared my product will be questioned or doubted.

3) I get desperate. Even if I don't say the actual words, the manner of my approach, what I say and how I react... all seem to translate to begging and pleading. I once had this friend who sell jewelries and she'd really just show us the goods and not even give any sales talk. But we bought stuff from her, and these are jewelries! I can't even sell P10 raffle tickets!

4) I have bad timing. It's not that I approach someone when they've just suddenly heard of a death in the family, but still, I fail to approach when they are open to a sale.

5) I have bad approach. I don't go over the top, I don't act unconcerned, but still, I fail to approach people in a way they'd be open to hearing more of what I have to say, or investing in me.

6) I take disinterest or rejection personally. It makes me sad when it shouldn't.


I literally cannot sell anything... not raffle tickets or colognes. I had more success taking orders for my MIL for her baked goods before.

I also figuratively cannot sell anything... not ideas or points of view or possible opportunities. Usually, when I get my way, it's because I had the stronger personality or because I was already making faces or withdrawing... which isn't the same as getting people to invest in and support me.

I lack charm and diplomacy. Tsk.

Weird that a whole month is finished for 2010. I'm still recovering from the Holidays! Haha.

Anyway, it's the Love Month. I have the APO Hiking Society Farewell Valentine Concert to look forward to, several parties and reunions and who knows what else.

So... have you thought of old crushes lately? I was chatting with my high school best friend a week or so ago and I told her about going all kilig when my HS crush messaged me in Facebook. Basically, he just asked if he treated me right at the prom, haha. And eventhough I wouldn't tag him if I meet him right now (we both got fat but well, he's not tall!), he was still my crush! I was super crazy in high school so all the kilig feelings will always be there. Haha. My friend, on the other hand, said that her ex is already balding right now, and we're only in our early 30s. Haha. I have yet to tell her that I don't think that guy is balding exactly, but that he's always had this high forehead.

Isn't it crazy how the 'cool' guys you adored before turned out to be the ones without cars and with unhappy marriages right now? And that, unbelievably enough, paunch do not become them? And the really nice guys who you never thought of being with romantically, who was also too shy or whatever to tell you their feelings... they're looking good!

Fortunately, I wasn't so attracted to 'bad boy types' :D But I think i've had so many crushes, even I have lost track. Ahihi.

Anyway, have you wondered what happened to former puppy loves and childhood sweethearts? Have you wondered about what happened to phone pals (yes, had lots of those!) and all those guys (and in my case, girls) who told you they loved you, gave you chocolates and cards and flowers? Have you found them on Facebook already? Haha.

*~*

Meanwhile, my two computers and our internet are failing me but I have to greet my crazy sister who's all the way in Michigan right now. Mom couldn't cook pancit for her because it's so cold there so I decided to cook pancit bihon for her here instead. Love you Graxiah.